


Hanahaki X 3

by avarand



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, hanahaki, obikin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-19 07:25:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13699725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avarand/pseuds/avarand
Summary: Three versions of Obikin Hanahaki. One where Anakin falls, one where Obi-Wan falls, and one where they get it together.





	1. The one where Anakin falls

You made flowers grow in my lungs, and although they are beautiful, I can't breathe." ~~Unknown

The one where Anakin falls first.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As a child, Anakin only knew about Hanahaki from his mother. She’d tell him stories about powerful beings in the desert who fell in love with mortals. And when they knew those mortals didn’t love them back, they cursed them. When the mortal did fall in love with someone who didn’t love them back, flowers would grow in their lungs until the disease eventually killed them. This way the mortals might understand the gods’ pain of being doomed to love someone who didn’t want you in return. 

The deserts were dangerous, vast, and intimidating. So much like oceans there was no shortage of stories about the great and terrifying creatures which lurked out in the sands. Anakin was pragmatic even as a youngling and never gave much thought to such fantasies. And why would desert gods curse people with flowers, anyway? Hardly anything except the ugliest and most prickly plants could survive on the planet’s surface. Having your lungs filled with sand would have been scarier. 

By the time Anakin was nine and on his way to Coruscant with Qui-Gon Jinn, Queen Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, he’d put such stories out of his mind. Then Qui-Gon died and and the boy saw true grief for the first time. He missed the man as well, but it was nothing compared to how Obi-Wan felt. He didn’t know what to do to make this younger man, barely a Knight himself, feel better. So he stayed out of his way as much as possible. Obi-Wan was the only reason he wasn’t being sent back to Tatooine or off to AgriCorps, so he stayed quiet around his Master which seemed to work fine for them both. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Anakin turned thirteen he attracted the interest of one of Naboo’s most prominent politicians. He didn’t see anything wrong with it. And if the Council and his Master knew and didn’t think it was wrong, then it couldn’t be. So he spent more time with Senator Palpatine. The older man treated him like a son, listened to his problems and gave him advice. It was everything the young former slave needed. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time he turned eighteen, he’d seen more dangerous missions and near-death escapes than he can remember. Despite the passing of years, he’d never been exactly sure where he stood with his Master. The twenty-nine year old Knight was the closest thing he has to a friend most days. Though Senator Palpatine has warned him not to get too close as his Master was ‘emotionally closed off’. Which Anakin had come to accept. It wasn’t even Obi-Wan’s fault, just who he’d been made into through training and loss. 

They were supposed to be meditating together but Anakin’s thoughts were everywhere and impossible to reign in, as always. He chanced a look through his eye lashes at Obi-Wan’s hands. Open palmed, one on top of the other, the callouses from ‘saber training and rough missions visible from the short distance. He thought of those hands holding their ‘saber hilt in Soresu, calloused but extremely gentle finger tips applying bacta pads to one or both of them after a narrow escape, carefully shaving his beard most mornings or offering a hand up or a plate of food to his apprentice. 

The thought made something warm bloom in his chest. Anakin opened his eyes fully, sensing his Master was lost in meditation. He took in the handsome face, the crow lines that would appear when the man truly smiled which wasn’t often enough. He imagined the blue grey color underneath the lids that could communicate sentences if you knew how to listen. The man could be impossibly snarky and yet still so full of compassion, his life wrapped around the idea of doing the right thing. Of all the worlds they’d been to, he didn’t think he’d ever meet anyone else like Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

Suddenly his chest hurt. A dull bloom of pain somewhere behind the lower end of his sternum. He couldn’t breathe. He thumped his chest as though it were a piece of food, but nothing happened except that the pain increased. Anakin found himself doubling over, fighting hard for every breath. 

“Anakin!” 

He could feel Obi-Wan’s hands on him, but the pain wouldn’t stop. It felt like being stabbed, except that wasn’t quite accurate. Like the knife was trying to get out from the inside of his thoracic cavity. The last thing he heard was Obi-Wan using his commlink to call for a Healer. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Anakin woke up, he was in the Halls of Healing in a private room. He was only attached to basic vital monitoring and nothing else, thankfully. And the pain in his chest was gone. He tried to sit up and quickly found his Master’s hands helping him accomplish the task, though they weren’t needed. 

“Obi-Wan, what happened?” 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Obi-Wan looked paler than usual and his blue-grey eyes were dark with worry. “You passed out during our meditation session yesterday, with pain in your chest so extreme that I could feel it through our Training Bond.”

“Do the Healers know what it was?” 

“No. In fact all of your scans, including an echocardiogram, show perfectly normal activity.” 

“So...nothing’s wrong?” 

“Apparently. Though healthy eighteen year olds don’t typically have debilitating chest pains.” 

“Maybe it was a fluke. Or hells, indigestion? I’ve never felt that before.” 

Obi-Wan crossed his arms in his typical ‘I’m worried but trying not to show it’ gesture. Then he sighed as he paced the small room. 

“Perhaps it’s part of your growing pains.” 

“Master, I’m already taller than you. Any taller and I’ll be giving the Kaminoans a run for their credits. But I’m sure it was nothing. Bant told me my heart looks to be in perfect condition. Honestly, I’m just ready to be out of here.” 

“Yes, you’ve been cleared to leave. However any other chest pains-” 

“Will be reported directly to you or a medi-bot. Understood.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the days that followed, everything went back to normal. Well, mostly normal. Anakin couldn’t stop staring at Obi-Wan. He was unfocused when they sparred one on one as he found he’d rather just watch the Knight with red-brown hair move like an acrobat across the gym. When they got into close quarters it took everything he had to not freeze up and whimper when a patch of rough beard slid across his shoulder. 

This was absurd! He’d had crushes before. Awkward fumblings with other padawans like everyone did, but this was...it was frankly kind of awful. Anakin knew that a lot of people thought he did reckless things for attention. But not a single destroyed speeder or accidental explosion was for that reason. Usually it was bad luck, poor planning, or an overlap of the two. He never needed anyone’s approval but his own. Sure he wanted Obi-Wan’s but only to the extent that he needed it for his goal of being a Knight. Now? Now he wanted Obi-Wan to look at him all the time. To acknowledge him, focus on him, or just let him be near. He’d always rolled his eyes when the Masters cautioned them against attachment. He understood the need to master his emotions, but not...cut them out like a disease. Even his Master was giving him his famous arched eyebrow more often. 

Thank the gods they were heading to Naboo on a mission soon. It would be good to see Padme again. Perhaps she was still as beautiful as he remembered and he could get his mind off this embarrassing crush he had on his own Master. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anakin practically vibrated in the elevator on the way up to Padme’s apartments. The estate was huge but he barely took any of it in. 

“Nervous, young one?” Obi-Wan asked him with a smile despite the Knight’s own exasperation. 

“Just...happy to see an old friend.” 

Obi-Wan didn’t bother hiding his own eye roll. The elevator reached its destination and soon Padme was there. Right in front of him. Still gorgeous, still radiating kindness and intelligence. Still...not what he had hoped to find. Anakin put his shields up so his Master wouldn’t be privy to his thoughts and greeted the former Queen with a bow. 

“Ani! My how you’ve grown!” Her warm eyes showed true delight at seeing the boy she’d helped rescue, now a man, standing before her again. 

“Thank you, Senator. You look lovely as always.” He smiled but was certain it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Please, we’re all old friends. I insist that you both call me Padme. Come. Servants will show you to your rooms and we’ll have dinner with Captain Panaka.” 

Dinner was a quiet affair, with Padme carrying most of the conversation around Naboo’s recent efforts in the Senate. Despite how she tended to butt heads with Chancellor Valorum, she much preferred him to Naboo’s other Senator, Sheev Palpatine. Obi-Wan remarked that Bail Organa had said something very similar. Anakin caught the former Queen’s blush at that but didn’t comment, staying silent through most of the meal. Before desert it was only the three of them left, and Anakin sipped his wine slowly, wishing to retreat to his chamber and be alone with his thoughts. 

“Ani, you’ve hardly said a word. Are you alright?” Padme asked. 

“Yes, I, I apologize. I’m trying to wrap my head around some of the political maneuvering you’ve been discussing. I admit, it’s much more my Master’s strongsuit than mine. Obi-Wan has first watch so I may retire early as well. If you’ll please excuse me.” 

Barely waiting for permission, Anakin left the dining room and made a beeline back to his own chambers. He closed the door, making sure it was locked, and removed his boots before padding out onto the stone terrace. Looking at the night sky, he wondered darkly if Obi-Wan and Padme were happier to have some time to themselves. He knew his Master took lovers from time to time. And Padme was anything another person could want. Hell, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Obi-Wan was everything he himself wanted. And that was the worst. If he could have seen someone so perfect and she’d taken his mind off Obi-Wan, he’d know he wasn’t screwed. That he was young and had a crush and he feelings were trivial and fleeting. His chest ached faintly but it passed. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood looking at the constellations but there was a knock on his door. Absently he opened the lock with a wave of his hand, surprised to feel Obi-Wan walk in. 

“Padawan, are you alright?” 

Obi-wan didn’t remove his boots but joined him on the terrace. 

“Yes. I just needed some air.” 

“I have to admit I’m a bit surprised. You couldn’t wait to see Senator Amidala and now it’s as though you have no interest in her.” 

“I wanted to, but I don’t. I thought that if I saw her and felt all those things I felt as a boy, then it would fix something.” He kept his gaze on the stars, not daring to look his best friend in the eye. 

“Oh, Anakin. Nothing about you is broken.” 

Anakin laughed mirthlessly. “It is. I care for someone I shouldn’t. I think it might be serious.” 

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. “Every padawan must grapple with attachment. It is never pleasant for any of us. I must take first watch. Don’t worry young one, this will pass. And if you ever want to talk, I will always listen.” A hand on his shoulder and the older man was gone. 

Eventually, days later, Obi-Wan was called to the Temple and Anakin took over as Padme’s full time bodyguard. It wasn’t actually terrible as the woman was good company when she wasn’t waist-deep in treaties and trade deals. 

A week or so after Obi-Wan’s departure they were having dinner, just the two of them. 

“I still can’t believe the energetic boy from Tatooine is such a serious padawan,” she teased. “Obi-Wan must work you quite hard.” 

Anakin flushed at the unwanted image her phrasing gave to mind. 

“Obi-Wan is my best friend. The Temple isn’t a place where laughter and leisure time are really smiled upon.” 

“Still, something’s troubling you. What? You’ve been here a week and haven’t shown a real smile. Even Jedi smile.” 

“It’s nothing. I apologize, I shouldn’t be so distracted by my thoughts that I can’t perform my job.” 

“Anakin, I haven’t thought of anything outside of negotiations and resource allocation in days. No matter how boring or inappropriate your distraction is, I promise I could stand to hear it.” 

“Living vicariously through Jedi now?” Anakin grinned. 

“I do what I must. Now spill.” 

Well, when a former Queen commanded you to do something…

Anakin sighed. “I...have feelings for someone I shouldn’t. Deep feelings. I wish it was a crush or something harmless and I could let it pass. But it’s not.” 

“But isn’t it a good thing to feel strongly for people? Surely Jedi must fall in love.” 

“We do, but we’re supposed to never act on it. Just...let it go. And the person I’m in love with would never feel the same way.” 

“Right, because tall, attractive, funny, and kind is so not anyone’s type.” 

Anakin startled. He’d never heard Padme talk like that, or heard himself described like that to be honest. 

“Oh, please, I’m not blind. And while I’m not a Jedi I don’t understand how love can be bad. Of course I understand that jealousy and desire for control can stem from love, but those things can also happen without it. And maybe if you really love someone, you can do so and learn to let the jealousy go. I mean isn’t jealousy socially conditioned in many cases anyway?”

Anakin was a bit stunned. “You’ve uh, thought about this, then?” 

Padme blushed and went for her wine as a cover. “I’ve traveled a good deal. It’s not uncommon to see marriages that include more than two people in many parts of the galaxy. I know of Senators and Jedi who have had affairs. Not with each other mind you, but word gets around and Senators gossip like you wouldn’t believe. I myself care for someone who I don’t get to see very often. I have to trust that he can handle himself and that he won’t violate my trust. The same goes for him. It’s not easy and we’ve both had to change and grow because of it, but it’s absolutely worth it.” 

“That’s really beautiful.” 

“Thank you,” she smiled warmly. “And it’s confidential. Tell anyone and no one will find your body. Now, tell me about this person you like. Girl, boy, agender?” 

“It’s a he, and that’s all I’m telling you.” 

Padme nearly stood, her eyes wide. “Oh gods! It’s Obi-Wan isn’t it?”

“Keep your voice down! And how did you even know?” 

“He’s not even on the planet and my servants are the most discrete. Besides, no one could be expected to be around someone as attractive as Knight Kenobi all the time and not develop feelings.” 

Anakin put his head down on the table. “I hate you.” 

He heard Padme moving to stand beside him, stroking his back. 

“Hey, it’s alright. For what it’s worth, you have great taste.” 

Anakin asked the servant for more wine. 

The days on Naboo passed quickly. Padme stayed busy but usually before bed the two of them would talk. He felt odd twinges in his chest from time to time but never the horrendous pain of weeks ago, so he didn’t bother with a med droid. And he made a new friend in the former Queen which was unexpected but very welcomed. 

In confidence she’d told him she was seeing Bail Organa as his arranged marriage had fallen through. They were sitting on her bed, watching some awful holovid. One of the main characters reminded him of Obi-Wan. Suddenly he very much missed the man’s hands, his ever-changing hair and eye color, his unparalleled sarcasm. How his skin and robes always smelled clean with a hint of sandalwood. 

He clutched his chest, to the right of his heart. This would pass, it always passed. But of course it didn’t. Soon he was doubled over, heaving for air, Padme shouting at him. He started coughing. Had he been poisoned? Why wasn’t Padme showing any effects? Then he coughed something up, covered in blood. The pain subsided though he was still shaking. 

“I’m fine,” he wheezed. A few more shuddering breaths and he did feel much better. 

“Ani, what was that?!” 

Anakin shook her off and went into the ‘fresher, carefully washing the blood off the object. It was small, greyish blue at the bottom that faded to white at the outer tip. A petal. Feeling numb, he returned and showed it to her. 

“You coughed that up? But how?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t remember ever seeing anything like it. Do you have a droid that could analyze it?” 

Soon enough a small unit was processing the petal. When it was done, a durasteel apparatus handed it back to Anakin. 

“Stella Lancilfolium,” the droid dead panned. “Most often found on Stewjon. Locally called the Twilight Star for its appearance at sunset and predawn. Sometimes considered a symbol of luck. Non-poisonous to humanoids. Will that be all?” 

The droid left and Anakin had more questions than ever. 

“Ani, if it’s not poisonous, how did it end up inside you?” 

“I don’t know! I mean I’ve been having chest pains but they’ve been nothing. Even the Temple Healers said I was fine.” 

“But it’s not even like you swallowed it. It was covered in blood!” 

“I know. And it hurt like hell. I-” he trailed off suddenly. What had his mother told him so long ago? A disease where flowers bloomed in your lungs when someone didn’t love you back?

“What is it?” 

“I need to do some research.” 

“Of course. Your mission is almost up and I’m fine. If you need to leave early-” 

“No, actually it would be better if I stayed and did it here. I don’t want anyone at the Temple knowing. It’s gonna sound crazy. But if I find what I think I’ll find, you’ll be the first to know, okay?” 

“Okay. But only if you tell me the second you have any more pain.” 

“And as long as you don’t tell Obi-Wan.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last days of his mission Anakin barely slept at all. He’d commed his mother who had been concerned but said she thought that the flower curse was real, that she’d seen people who had it. Unfortunately the two humans she knew had died from it. He assured his mom that they were working for a client who might have it but wasn’t sure if she bought it. 

Then he turned to research. Hanahaki was what most datapads and historical texts called the disease. No one was sure what caused it aside from unrequited love. It rarely showed up on medical scans until it was in its final stages. Victims experienced acute pain, coughing up petals and eventually whole flowers that somehow correlated to the object of their affections. Until asphyxiation ended them. There were fairy tales of someone realizing that they loved the victim and both survived, but it seemed unlikely. There was also mention of a surgery that could be done. The root could be removed and the victim would never feel love again. Not for anyone. Anakin refused that option. To look at his few friends or his mother and feel nothing? Out of the question. 

So. He’d live with this. The sources said he had somewhere between one and two years before it killed him. He’d have to take a trip to the lower levels of course. Asphyxiation was not a pretty or painless way to die. But until then he had time. Time he’d make the most of. 

Padme had cried with him when he delivered the news. She insisted that something could be done. Anything. They could make Obi-Wan jealous, make him see how worthy of love Anakin was. But Anakin knew. His Master loved him like a brother but that would always be it. And he’d keep his soul until the end. 

“Padme,” he whispered as she sobbed in his arms. “It’s okay. I used to be a slave. Now I’ve seen the galaxy. Made a difference. I’m gonna be fine. And hey, if you and Bail have kids, ‘Anakin’ is a good name for a boy or a girl.” 

They parted reluctantly but knowing it had to be done. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once back at the Temple with Obi-Wan, his Master wanted to know how the trip went. 

“Fine, Master. No security threats and Padme is doing very well.” 

“And your personal relationship with her?” 

Anakin rolled his eyes. “We’re friends, Master. I promise nothing untoward happened.” He stretched out on the couch, wondering how many missions he had left in him before he was coughing up petals everywhere.

“I’m very proud of you for handling your emotions so maturely.” 

That. How did that kind of statement manage to make Anakin feel like he was two inches tall? “Thank you, Master.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Months wore on. Anakin kept a journal about his symptoms, tracking how frequent they were becoming. The pains and blood covered petals had definitely increased in frequency. At least once a week he was bent over his ‘fresher, trying to get something out of his chest. It seemed to drain him. He couldn’t imagine lasting a year or more like this. He could barely eat, was losing weight and muscle mass. 

Scared, he took that trip to the lower rim sooner than expected. It was easy to purchase a packet of three pills from a dealer. A single one would kill him. He kept one in his utility belt, another in his bedside drawer, and a third he’d hid on any ship they took for a mission. 

The evening after his little field trip, he was feeling maudlin so he wrote. He wrote letters to the people he cared about. He told Padme she’d been a wonderful friend and if he could stop this without tearing out his soul he would. To Ahsoka, a youngling he’d befriended at the Temple, he wrote that he was sorry but there wasn’t a cure for this. But he believed in her and her training and she’d make a fine Jedi some day. His mother was trickier. He was so sorry for lying to her but didn’t want her to worry about something she couldn’t change. Maybe he hated being in love but it was also fantastic and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

The last letter was to Obi-Wan. It wasn’t fair to tell him he was in love with his Master. So he just wrote that he’d always be grateful for everything the man had taught him and given him. 

Just as he secreted the letters away there was a knock on his door. 

He let Obi-Wan in and the Knight immediately took a seat on Anakin’s bed. 

“Anakin. I know this isn’t easy so I’ll be blunt. You’ve barely been sleeping or eating. You look terrible. We have a mission next week and I don’t know if I should allow you to come. Your concentration is shot. What’s more, you’ve been withdrawn and quiet. Please, talk to me.” 

Anakin sighed and sat next to Obi-Wan on the small mattress. 

“Remember when I told you I had feelings for someone?” 

“Of course.” 

“They didn’t go away. I don’t think they will. Have you ever been in love?” 

“Anakin, whatever attachment-” 

“No, Obi-Wan, that’s the thing. It’s not attachment. Attachment is possession and fear. Love is selfless. I’m ready to let go of everything I am and if I can do so knowing that person will be happy, years after I’ve gone, then it’s worth it, and I’m happy too.” 

“Padawan, what are you talking about?” 

Anakin meant to answer when a coughing fit took over within minutes he had a handful of petals, blood splattered in his fist. 

“What-Are those-?”

“Twilight Star petals,” he said once he could properly breathe again. “What do you know about Tatooine legends?” 

“Anakin, you’re scaring me. Please be straightforward here.” 

Anakin hung his head for a moment but did speak. “There are legends on Tatooine. Of powerful beings out in the wastes. Sometimes they fall in love with humans. But humans are fickle. They can’t truly love the immortal creatures back. So they were cursed. If ever a human had been gifted something by a spirit, they’d fall in love with another mortal. One who didn’t love them back. The unrequited love would cause flowers to bloom in the person’s chest until they died.” 

“And that’s what’s happening to you? Surely the Healers can-” 

“They can’t. It’s not a...traditional kind of disease. It’s part magic. Maybe even part Force. When I collapsed months ago? That was the start. That was when I fell in love with someone who didn’t love me.” 

“Anakin! This is absurd! There must be a cure!” 

“There are two cures. One is that the other person falls in love with the sick person. The other is surgery, which removes the flowers but also the victim’s ability to love, possibly to empathize. I won’t live my life as a husk, Obi-Wan. I’d much rather die loving someone than live without the ability.”

“Anakin, no, you must!” 

“No! I won’t have them turn me into a monster! That’s what I’ll become if they cut this out. A Jedi must have compassion. I’d have nothing of the kind.” 

“You don’t know that!” 

“I do! I can feel it just as I can feel the petals and stems in my chest. If you ever respected me at all, you’ll respect this. I’ve left letters in my room in my locked drawer for a few people if I- when it comes to that.” 

“Gods, Anakin! Who is it? Perhaps we can change her mind!” 

“It’s not a her. And anyway, I know for a fact that his mind isn’t going to be changed.”

“Anakin, in all the years I’ve known you, resigning yourself to fate has never been something you’ve done. You’re a fighter! So why aren’t you fighting this?” 

“I don’t want to fight it! Don’t you get it? Real love is so rare, Obi-Wan. Maybe I’m cursed but I’ve also been blessed. I love someone so much that my body doesn’t know what do to do with that. How many people can say that? Besides, I’d rather go this way than at the hands of Separatists or dying on some Council mission.” 

“Anakin!” His Master sounded shocked, outraged, angry in a way he’d never seen him. “How can you say that? You’re the Chosen One!” 

“No! I’m extremely Force Sensitive but that doesn’t make me the Chosen anything. If this is how I choose to die than that’s my call!” 

“Your call?! And what about me? I’ve trained you, cared for you, fought by your side. What say do I have?!” They were both standing only inches away, panting and red in the face. 

“You don’t get a say because I love you!” Anakin screamed. “There! Are you happy? I am in love with you! And you can’t ever love me back so here I a-” his speech was cut off by a terrible cough. And entire blue and silver flower took long minutes to dislodge from his chest, the petals tainted with blood.

Obi-Wan, deflated of his anger, bent to pick it up. “Twilight Stars are native to Stewjon. I should have known.” 

And wow. If that wasn’t one of the worst brush-offs Anakin had ever heard. 

“Obi-Wan,” he wiped his mouth of blood. “Just go.” 

“Ana-”

“Go. There’s nothing you can do. You don’t love me. I know that. It’s okay and it’s not your fault. But don’t make this harder for me than it is.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, just before dawn, Anakin took two of his pills and stole a small temple ship. He went to Tatooine where his mother greeted him with open arms. He had a stepfather now and a stepbrother who he made polite talk with. His mother cried when he coughed up flower petals but she kissed his brown and made him comfortable. Honestly, it was all he could have asked for. 

A month on Tatooine and breathing became difficult. It didn’t matter if he was helping with dinner or fixing the moisture units, blood and petals came. His thoughts drifted to the two pills in his belt quite frequently. After a particularly rough week he knew it was time. He gave his ‘saber to his mother, to do with what she deemed best. He’d already severed his Bond to Obi-Wan and there was nothing left to tell the man who couldn’t love him back. 

“Mom, don’t cry. This is okay. If I can’t be with him then I’ll go back to the Force and wait until he’s ready to be with me. Did you hear? Padme, Bail, and Obi-Wan outed the Chancellor. I got to see the galaxy. It more than I could have dreamed of.” 

Late that night when everyone else was sleeping and Anakin was sputtering for breath, he opened the pouch on his belt and dry swallowed the two pills. It wasn’t perfect but it was good. His life. The pain ebbed away and all he could feel was the Force, calling him home..  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obi-Wan was a mess. Damn the Temple, damn the Council and the whole kriffing Order. Bond or no bond he knew his apprentice was gone. Dead. By some obscure disease that could have been extracted. At the price of the boy's humanity. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he have simply loved the attractive, vivacious, spontaneous man back? He should have! Given time perhaps he would. But it didn't matter now. He'd felt Anakin's signature, brighter than a sun, simply flicker out. He should go to Tatooine, retrieve his 'saber, but what was the point? If the one being in the world who deserved love couldn't have it, then did anyone deserve anything decent in this life? Anakin should be entombed with the Jedi but he'd be given a pauper's grave on some sand-saturated excuse or a planet. None of this made sense. None of it was fair. Only Ahsoka kept him going.


	2. The One Where Obi-Wan Falls

The one were Obi-Wan falls. 

Fights like these made the long campaigns easier to get through. When he and Anakin both stopped thinking and connected through their Bond, his calm tempering Anakin’s strong instincts and both of them moving in sync. If he had it his way, the Council would never sever their bond. They moved as one, taking out droidekas with ease even in the muddy jungle terrain. 

Once the objective was completed and the area secure, they turned as one back to transport to get cleaned up. They shared showers like the clones as modesty wasn’t something afforded in war time. Just as Obi-Wan was preparing to savor the last few seconds of warm water, he found himself caught up in a coughing fit. Gods, he couldn’t do this with Anakin nearby. 

Moving quickly to a private waste disposal unit he flushed, hoping the sounds covered those of his hacking. When he was done he held to fire lily petals in his hand, tipped in blood. It was getting worse then. Being close to Anakin in the Force always did seem to make the symptoms more acute. He pocketed the petals, unwilling to part with them even though he knew they’d be his demise. 

“Master, you alright?” 

“Fine, young one. Just post battle nerves.” 

He hated how easily the lies came now but what else was there to be done for it? Anakin didn’t return his feelings. Hells, if he did, he wouldn’t be in this situation. His former padawan may not be with the Senator of Naboo any longer but his heart was...mercurial. Obi-Wan even loved that about him. Anakin’s ability to fall in love at the drop of a hat or find something interesting where others saw nothing of note was incredible. However if he cold divert some of that interest to his studies...but that was another matter. 

That night was a rare one. The clones brought out some of their much coveted homemade rum and everyone partook. Anakin even let Ahsoka have some. Obi-Wan watched from afar as everyone celebrated the hard one victory when he noticed the small Togruta girl sit down next to him. 

“Not enjoying the festivities, Master Kenobi?”

“Oh, I’m enjoying them just fine. Sometimes distance does me good.” 

“Hm. So you’re not watching Master Skywalker then?” 

Obi-Wan fought his blush. “Anakin is always in his element when reveling. It’s refreshing to see.” 

“Master Kenobi, it’s not my place, but...I know.” 

“Know?” He had to think fast. This could be disastrous. 

“That you love him. And I won’t tell!” Her large blue eyes grew impossibly bigger. “I just didn’t think anyone should be alone with something like that.” 

He finally relaxed. “Thank you, young one. Though I understand my feelings are not reciprocated. And I’m at peace with this.” 

“But if he would just open his eyes-” 

“Ahsoka. Anakin is who he is. He falls in love with planets, forests, ideas, hells, ideas of who he thinks people are.. With his Force damned machines. And I admire that about him. But it is not how I love.” 

“There are different ways to love?” The girl looks so adorably confused. 

“So many different ways. And Anakin would never sit still long enough to love another person back as someone like me would need.” 

“Master Kenobi, if there’s anything I can do-” 

“I appreciate it, Ahsoka, but there isn’t. I wouldn’t love Anakin if he was anything less than who he is.” 

“Okay, Master.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obi-Wan dealt with the campaigns and the battles and the Council’s orders. He dealt with Ahsoka’s sad glances and Anakin’s cocksure grins. 

One day, after a particularly gory battle, Cody approached him. 

“General, no one else has noticed, but I have sir.” 

Before Obi-Wan could ask what he’d noticed, Cody produced a handful of fire lily petals. Dammit, he’d been so careful to keep them pressed safely among his personal effects. 

“Hanahaki, sir. The clones aren’t totally unfamiliar with it. You left them behind at our last camp. Sir-” 

“Cody, there’s nothing you can do.” 

“With all due respect sir, Jedi aren’t the only ones who have suffered from this disease.” 

Obi-Wan hung his head. “I know that. But Cody, I need you to respect my decision on this.” 

“Your decision to die, sir?” 

“Yes, Force damn it! Do you think I haven’t considered the possibilities? He can’t, won’t love me like that. And I’d be a monster if I tried to make him. I’ll not be some predator, trailing after my former padawan!” 

“Yes, sir. It’s just- If I or Kix or any of the men could do anything, we would.” 

“Thank you, Cody, that will be all.” 

Cody left and Obi-Wan was alone with his thoughts. He dearly wished that this love could be replaced by a quick fuck or any other coarse measure. But it wasn’t. He loved Anakin with everything he was an in the end, that would be his death. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately Anakin picked up on his increasingly dour mood and insisted on spending more time with him. 

“Master, come on, we have a night off. We should check out the club.” 

The ‘club’ was a dubious canteena that was playing music with no melody and and an indiscernible beat in honor of the their men’s victory. It was the last place Obi-Wan wanted to be. He coughed to hide his frown. 

“Hey, you’ve been doing that a lot. Do you need to get checked out by Kix?” 

“No, I’m afraid I’ve never taken well to these dense climates.” 

“So come on!” His former padawan grinned. “Have some drinks, flirt with some grateful locals. I haven’t seen you play dashing Jedi Master in forever.” 

“Anakin, has it occurred to you that I no longer wish to play, as you put it, ‘dashing Jedi Master?’”

“Oh right, because you’re practically as ancient as Master Yoda now. Besides, Rex bet me he could get laid and I couldn’t.” 

That was, well that made Obi-Wan want to be sick. “Anakin, no. I’m staying here at camp, finalizing my report, and going to bed. I do not want or need to know who you or Rex or anyone else take to bed. Maybe you want to celebrate an important victory by drinking bad liquor and having sex with a stranger, but you should know by now that that is not who I am. One of us needs to be thinking ahead to the larger implications and ending this Force damned war.” 

And with that Obi-Wan stormed into his tent, just in time to cough up an impressive display of fire lily petals. It wasn’t long after that when he felt Ahsoka’s presence outside his tent and bade her come in. 

“Master Kenobi, I’m sorry about your fight with Anakin. But...he’s confused and hurt.” 

Obi-Wan sighed, deflating a bit. 

“I know. I should not have lost my temper with him. It was simply a bit much for him to tell me about his wager with Captain Rex.” 

“He did what?!” 

“Wait, you know about these wagers?” 

“Yeah, I mean everyone does. I guess it’s how they blow off steam. But he shouldn’t have said that to you. I love my Master but he has all the tact and observational skills of a pissed off rancor.” 

Obi-Wan chuckled. He does at that. 

“Master Kenobi, I overheard something between Cody and Kix.” 

Oh gods. If Ahsoka knew…

“And what was that, young one?” 

The Togruta girl looked at the ground. 

“Hanahaki? It’s real and you have it?” 

There was no point in lying to a girl as resilient and intelligent as Ahsoka. 

“Yes, on both counts.” 

Suddenly he found his arms full of Togruta padawan. 

“But you can fix it right?” 

“No, I’m afraid not. I researched the surgical cure and...it’s believed to be the reason behind more than one Jedi Falling to the Dark.” 

“No, not that, getting him to love you back!” 

A grim smile graced Obi-Wan’s face. 

“Young one, I cannot change the nature of his heart.” 

“Bantha kark! He changes his mind every other day! I’m not saying he could...be like that forever, but maybe long enough to reverse the disease?” 

Obi-wan had to admit, it was the best option he’d heard of so far. Even so…

“Ahsoka, this disease almost always ends in death. I would not presume to be someone to outwit it. Thank you for your friendship, but it really is time for me to be getting to bed.” 

He completely missed the look of fierce determination on Ahsoka’s face before she left his tent.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anakin was enjoying his third glass of some liquor he didn’t care to name when he caught sight of his very underage padawan in the bar. However it looked like he wouldn’t have to chase her down and as she was heading right towards him. 

“Snips-what the hell-”

“We need to talk. Outside, in private, right now.” 

Anakin was a bit shocked. Ahsoka rarely took that tone with him. He looked to the other end of the bar where Rex was quite happily chatting up a Mirialan woman and figured he’d lost already. 

Outside the poorly constructed establishment, Anakin barely had time to ask what was wrong before Ahsoka launched into a tirade. 

“What is wrong with you? I know you and Obi-Wan go way back but everyone can see it except you! Honestly, inviting the man who’s in love with you out to watch you take a stranger home? Padme said you could be dense but that’s low even for you. Or were you trying to be cruel?!” 

“Ahsoka, slow down! I don’t know what you’re talking about! Obi-Wan is in love with me?” 

“Yes! And if you weren’t so busy trying to have sex with anything that moved you might have noticed! He keeps his distance from you because he’s trying to minimize his pain! After the war he’s already talking to Plo about taking a permanent assignment somewhere isolated on the Outer Rim! I’m not saying you have to love him back, but pay attention and stop hurting him! He doesn’t want to be your war buddy. You have Rex and the rest of your men for that. And he feels bad about it! He was your Master and he thinks he’s some old pervert for loving you. Master, I love you, but get it together and pay attention to how someone else feels!” 

With that the tiny, fierce girl stormed off into the night. And Anakin was left dumbstruck. Obi-Wan...loved him? It would explain the earlier outburst, and how he kept his distance except during a fight. But...they were like brothers. Two sides of the same coin. Passion and action on one side and calm patience to know when to strike on the other. Actually, that sounded more like a team, a...couple than brothers in arms. And Obi-Wan would be heading to some remote post after the war? Living out the rest of his life lonely without even other Jedi Masters for company. 

Was it Anakin’s fault? He tried to imagine loving the man. He was handsome but that was hardly the point. Obi-Wan didn’t commit to thing by half measure. If what Ahsoka said was true then then this was serious for his former Master. 

Looking down at the dirt alleyway, he noticed something Snips must have dropped. Picking it up he realized it was a fire lily petal. He hadn’t seen one of these since he was a boy. They were rare on Tatooine, one of the few beautiful things that grew there. The petals looked streaked through with the colors of sunset, vivid oranges and hints of impossibly deep reds. He didn’t think he’d ever see one again. He pocketed the petal. He at least owed Obi-Wan a conversation. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Master?” He called outside the tent. 

“Come in, Anakin.” 

“So, I guess we ship out tomorrow.” 

“Yes. The Council has already assigned us our next mission. With any luck, a few more victories like these and we’ll be negotiating the surrender of the Separatists.” 

“Master I need to talk with you about something.” 

Obi-Wan was going to respond but was taken over by a coughing fit. Luckily there were no petals this time. He reached for a canteen of water instead. 

“Oh?” 

“Ahsoka cornered me earlier.” 

“Oh, dear.” Obi-Wan quickly found a data pad to be very interesting. 

“She said- well she said a lot of things. But she said you loved me. Is that true?” 

Obi-Wan sighed. “Ahsoka means well but she does not always speak to things that are hers to speak to. Though I understand she said it because she cares for both of us very much.” 

“Obi-Wan, I need you to answer the question!” 

And oh, wasn’t that something? The Jedi Master found his calm cracking. “And if it was? What difference would it make? If it makes you uncomfortable, you’re a Knight now and fully within your rights to request a different partner.” 

“That’s still not-” 

“Yes! Goddammit Anakin, yes! I am very much in love with you. I didn’t want you to know because it’s my problem and not yours. I don’t expect anything from you and I understand if you find the situation uncomfortable.” 

“Obi-Wan, that’s not, ya know usually people talk about these things! You didn’t even give me a chance to think about it! What if I feel the same way!?” 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said very quietly. “You don’t.” 

“You don’t get to just decide that for me!” 

“No, I simply know you and I observe. You are young. You had some half baked plan to marry Senator Amidala if I recall before she found sense. You fall in and out of love constantly. And that’s not a bad thing. You seem to be in love with the galaxy itself. It makes you impulsive yes, but also incredibly compassionate. Do you know how many times I have been in love?” 

“I-no.” Anakin was looking at the floor now. 

“Twice. Once with a padawan my own age. She chose the Order and I respected that, though it took me years to come to terms with. The second is you. You love intensely, young one. But I love in such a way that I do not let go or entertain others. Could you honestly be happy with me and only me? Or would you chafe, grow bored, feel constrained?” And then Obi-Wan thought to himself, he’d be right back to where he was, suffocating slowly.

“I-I don’t know.” 

“You do. And so do I. And it’s not your fault or any failing on your part.” 

“Ahsoka said you were going to take an Outer Rim post after the war.” 

“Yes. I think it would be best. With some time, perhaps I’ll even find someone else. I have been told after all that I have a certain dashing Jedi Master persona I can play.” 

Anakin laughed without mirth. 

“Yeah, okay. But until then we’re still a team right?” 

“Of course we are.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The campaigns continued. Obi-Wan took steroids and other stims to offset the visible effects of Hanahaki. Ahsoka still shot him worried glances but that was fine. 

The three of them were taking lead on infiltrating a Sep base on some jungle planet. If they could take it out, it would be a major win. 

Obi-Wan was dealing droids to the west with Cody and his men while Anakin and Ahsoka had the east entrance. Finally, they seemed to have the upper hand and were dealing with the clean up. Obi-Wan was panting heavily. Not from the exertion, but from the struggle to breathe. 

Cody and Ahsoka were looking at him worriedly. He shook his head, silently telling them to drop it. 

After the last of the droids and few human Seps had been taken care of, they went about making sure the base would be unusable for hundreds of years to come. Explosives had been set and everyone but the three of them was well out of blast radius. 

Obi-Wan piled onto the speeder a bit awkwardly with Anakin and Ahsoka and headed after the rest of their men. He was riding on the back, making sure their youngest charge was safe. He saw it as if in slow motion. A Separatist soldier who only looked down for the count aiming his blaster. Anakin and Ahsoka could feel his panic but couldn’t pinpoint what its cause was. There were only seconds to act. Using his weight to throw off the trajectory of the speeder he jumped, putting himself in the line of fire. For as easy as the bolts were to deflect with a ‘saber they hurt like kriff. He felt two enter his chest, dissolving instantly. The distraction bought him time. He hurled his ‘saber with the aid of the Force into the assailant’s chest, assuring the soldier a much quicker death than Obi-Wan’s own would be. 

The rest was chaos. Ahsoka was crouched over him as Anakin retrieved his weapon and made sure the Sep was dead. Then they were both over him, Anakin shouting into his comm for Kix to get back there ASAP. Honestly, this would be better than asphyxiation by fire lilies. 

“Master! You’re going to be okay, just hold on!” Anakin was yelling. 

“Anakin,” he wheezed. “It has been my privilege to watch you surpass me. You are the greatest Jedi and the greatest man I have ever known. Thank you.” 

“Obi-Wan, no! You don’t get to just give up like this! Kix and the others are coming! You’re going to be fine!” 

Ahsoka was weeping outwardly, knowing a truth that only two other beings knew. With great effort he removed his shoulder armor, the one emblazoned with the Jedi symbol, and handed it to her. 

“You, young one, will need to be brave and look after your Master. I have given Cody and Kix instructions on what to do in this scenario. Make us proud, as I know you will.” 

Ahsoka only nodded, tears choking her voice as she clutched his white pauldron. 

Obi-Wan recalled a few things from his final hours as a physical being in the galaxy. Ahsoka crying, Anakin’s fury at Cody and Kix. He’s left them special instruction in the event of his death or near-death. No surgery. No life saving measures. He thought he was aware of Anakin seeing the scans at base camp of his Master’s heart and lungs filled with fire lilies. Unbelieving and devastated. He tried to send waves of peace through the Force to his former Padawan. This is why it could never be, and I would not have changed my life for anything. 

He was vaguely aware of his medical cot, being surrounded by Cody, Kix, Anakin, Ahsoka, Rex, so many of the people he’d come to love. There were far worse ways to die. And why keep everyone waiting? With one last, shuddering breath, he let himself go. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Ahsoka of all people who designed his shroud at the Temple. It had all the usual information. Birth and death dates, status in the war, accomplishments in the field. But the stone above his duracrete shroud bore something else. A fire lily petal and the simple phrase, ‘Compassion is vulnerability. To love is to be most vulnerable of all.”


	3. The One Where They Get It Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So actually had to break this one up into 2 parts, because the plot kept getting away from me in ways I didn't expect. But it's almost done!

Obi-Wan had always considered the Force a gift. A calling. A braided river permeating all life and events. At the moment however, it was a pain in his ass. Or chest, as it were. He spent the past three days holed up in the Archives, researching everything he could about Hanahaki. Apparently it had a higher incidence among Force sensitive populations. But other than a few rules, he couldn’t find anything helpful. 

The disease usually appeared when the afflicted person experienced intense unrequited love. The only possible cure was surgical removal which...may very likely destroy the person’s ability to experience empathy in any form. Obi-Wan was many things, but he’d never let himself be a sociopath. He might have a year, he might have less. Little information was available on the specifics. 

He knew he was coughing up blood-soaked peony petals. Which made no sense as Anakin’s life in no way involved peonies and he certainly wasn’t in love with anyone else. At least the war had wrapped up. Anakin and Obi-Wan, with considerable help from Padme, had finally put together who the Sith Lord was. And Obi-Wan had been furious. That some disgusting old cretin had been grooming his own padawan...he only hoped that someday Anakin could forgive him for not being more attentive. So that was on his growing list of things to do. Apologize to his former apprentice. 

Now their lives were Council meetings with the occasional mission to rebuild peace treaties. Ahsoka had left. She didn’t know how to exist without a war and she was too conflicted about the Order’s role in the war. Obi-Wan didn’t blame her. She and her friend Barriss had left shortly after Palpatine’s death and not been heard from since. Obi-Wan knew that her loss devastated Anakin. 

“Master, there you are,” It was a testament to Obi-Wan’s training that he didn’t startle. 

“Yes, but why are you here? It’s 0200 and the Archives have never been a place you enjoyed spending time.” 

“I was looking for you.” The younger man’s eyes had violet bags underneath them and his posture was awful as he took a seat next to Obi-Wan, who quickly closed his research tabs. 

“Something on your mind, Anakin?” 

The young man sighed and slumped further into his chair. 

“Too many things. Ahsoka, how to live day to day without wondering if someone is watching my six or waiting for an explosion. Wondering about the Order and if it should change.” 

Now that was unexpected. “Change? How so?” 

“I mean, we were supposed to be peacekeepers. Now we’re a bunch of soldiers with PTSD and we don’t know what to do or how to heal. I don’t even blame Snips for leaving. We need help. The clones need help.” 

“Yes, though we’ve discussed this before. Something new is on your mind.” 

Anakin, for all that he was a grown man and a Jedi Knight, fidgeted in his chair.

“I want to be part of that healing. I did what I was supposed to do as the Chosen One. Palpatine is dead. I’ve been thinking...of maybe helping clones settle into civilian life. And maybe the Order doesn’t need me anymore. Or I don’t need it. Obi-Wan, what if I could have a life? A partner, children?” 

Obi-Wan felt like he’d been struck. Anakin wanted to leave. He supposed it was just as well. Best to have as few witnesses to his death as possible. 

“Anakin, you have served honorably as a Jedi for years and I am proud to call you my partner. Whatever you choose going forward, I have no doubt you will excel at it.”  
The younger man grinned and all his features lit up. 

“Thank you, Master. That means everything coming from you.” 

“Am I to take it that you plan on pursuing a certain Senator?”

The young Knight blushed but held his gaze. “No. We’re...not meant to last. But what about you Master? Are you really going to stay here?” 

Obi-Wan knew he owed Anakin the truth. After everything, it was the least he could do. Well, a version of the truth. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have too many options. Working full time on peace accords or settling clones into new lives would be rewarding, but I’ve been meaning to bring this up with you.” He paused, readying his next words. “Anakin, I’m ill. The prognosis is grim, to be frank. I may have a year, give or take. It seems horrible to think we survived so many close calls in the war for sickness to be what takes me in the end.” 

Anakin looked...devastated was the only word. “Master, this isn’t funny.” 

“No, it’s not. I promise you I’ve consulted every Healer at the Temple. It’s a...progressive respiratory disease.” 

“Your coughing fits...you said you were fine!” 

“I thought I was. And you’ve been through so much with Ahsoka and finding a new path for yourself. I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure.” 

Anakin stood, pacing in the small space of the Archive room. 

“Master, Obi-Wan, I don’t understand. New respirators are being created all the time. There are surgeries, intravenous therapies-” 

“Anakin. What I have is not treatable by such means.” 

“It doesn’t make sense! Jedi hardly ever get sick! What if you’re being poisoned. There are still Separatists out there and-” 

“Anakin. It’s not poison. It is not treatable even with the Healers here at the Temple. Kix has been working with Master Che and Bant. I am coming to terms with this. I have led a life of which I am proud. Knowing you was a significant source of that pride.” 

Anakin was distraught, tugging at his hair, dark waves coming off him. 

“So you’re just giving up? The man who trained me never just gave up!” His former padawan was truly angry now. 

“The man who trained you was not grappling with a painful, fatal, and obscure disease.” It was a low blow but Obi-Wan was at his wits’ end. 

“What is it? I can find someone, there has to be a specialist somewhere!” 

Obi-Wan wished for a stiff drink. “Most in the medical profession are not inclined to believe it exists. What little literature I’ve found on it suggests it may be connected to the Force. A kind of...spiritual cancer if you will. Trust me, it has made me question almost everything I once believed.” 

Anakin sat, as though in a daze. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s most commonly called Hanahaki. Others refer to it as Petaled Death or Lover’s Mercy. Most stories of it come from centuries ago if not longer. It seems unique to humans. The earliest accounts were actually among the groups who go on to form the basis of Jedi society. I am asking you as my best friend, please, respect my decision. I plan to spend the next year helping to rebuild the Order here at the Temple. Bant and Vokara have already discussed palliative care options for when...the disease has run its course.” 

“So I’m supposed to just leave my best friend here to die alone?! That’s who you think I am?!” 

“You are young and healthy and have always been restless. Would watching me slowly die be a better option for you?!” 

“I’m staying with you! And you can make decisions about you but I make the ones about me! You know how much it still hurts that Ahsoka left! I would never do that to you.” 

Finally Obi-Wan hung his head. “Very well. But if you do wish to leave, know that I would never hold it against you. I want you to have the best life you can.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Days after their conversation in the Archives, Obi-Wan was unsurprised to find Anakin pacing in their common room. Before he could even say hello the young man was talking at the speed of light. 

“Hanahaki. It’s from experiencing unrequited love? But there is a cure!” 

Obi-Wan went straight to his liquor cabinet. 

“No surgery. I refuse to lose myself and wake up missing my ability to empathize. I know you think I’m ‘emotionally constipated’ but I will keep my emotions right where they are.” 

“I wasn’t suggesting that. I mean you have roughly a year right? What if you could get that person to fall in love with you? Or what if you could fall out of love with them?” 

“The latter seems impossible. I’ve never known how to stop loving someone. One of my greatest failings as a Jedi.” 

“Obi-Wan, that’s not a failing,” Anakin said softly. “That’s...it’s beautiful.” 

“And killing me, apparently.” He sipped his scotch. 

“So we get them to fall in love with you! Who is it? Satine? Luminara? Adi?” 

Obi-Wan immediately poured a second drink. 

“No. It’s a man.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh?” 

“I just didn’t know you..I mean that’s still great though. It’s not like I’ve never...anyway. It has to be someone at the Temple right? Or one of the clones? Cody?” 

“Dear stars-no, it’s not Cody. While we’re good friends I’ve never felt more than him than as a brother in arms.” 

“You have to tell me!” 

“I have to do no such thing!” 

“Master! This isn’t about you liking someone like a youngling with a crush! If we could work on a plan, get them to spend time with you, we could save your life!” 

“Anakin. I appreciate your concern for my life. But this man, I know he doesn’t care for me that way. Even if he did, I don’t deserve him. I am old, scarred from war both physically and mentally. And while I’m under no illusion that he’s perfect, he could have so much more than me.” 

“Master. That statement was idiotic.” 

“Excuse me?!” 

“Would you say that me or Rex didn’t deserve good things because we’ve seen and done horrible things? Because I know you wouldn’t. And you’re hardly old. You’re barely forty. Half the padawans and Knights in this place do double takes when they pass you in the halls. Last time I went drinking with Darra she suggested we do a Jedi Knight calendar to raise money for the Order. She...spent a lot of time talking about what month you should be.” 

Obi-Wan didn’t know if he could turn more red. “That is...totally unprofessional!” He spluttered. 

“Doesn’t negate the fact. Please, tell me who it is.” 

“I...can’t. I am somewhat ashamed of my feelings for this person and I fear that you would think less of me if you knew.” 

“I could never think less of you.” 

“Famous last words. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the Healer’s. Being in an O2 tent seems to alleviate some of the worst of the symptoms.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anakin was at his wits’ end. How could his calm, patient, resilient Master just be willing to give up? And who the hell could he be in love with that he was ashamed of? Maybe it wasn’t someone at the Temple. He had to figure this out. He missed Ahsoka like well, his own arm. She’d be with him with some crazy idea on how to find out the man’s identity. 

And how could Obi-Wan think he had nothing to offer someone? He was a war hero! He’d helped take down Sidious and prevent Order 66! But he always was...not quite shy but not trusting of first impressions. Maybe he didn’t think he could offer anything as a romantic partner. But that made zero sense. He was handsome, compassionate, thoughtful but surprisingly sassy when he wanted to be. If he was with someone he’d no doubt put that person first. And his patience. He’d make an excellent father...wise and protective, nurturing and fun. Anyone should thank their lucky stars if Obi-Wan Kenobi fell in love with them. He smiled to himself as he thought of the mischief that sometimes flickered in those blue-grey eyes while everyone else thought he was playing the Perfect Jedi. 

Huh, on second thought, how had Anakin never noticed all this before? Perhaps they were too busy keeping each other alive in jungles and deserts, applying bacta patches and deflecting enemy fire. But his Master was, objectively speaking, attractive. His slight build and robes hid the layers of defined muscles that made him such a force to be reckoned with in battle. He rarely took lovers but Anakin imagined that he was- no! No, he could not be thinking about his best friend having sex. That was...absolutely not an option. 

Right. He needed to find out who this unknown man was. Then he could go about trying to save his former Master.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been weeks since their conversation in the Archives and Anakin still felt lost. The Healers wouldn’t tell him anything and neither would Obi-Wan. Nothing that mattered anyway. He never thought he’d voluntarily meditate, but he was desperate. 

He found his inner calm, quieted his mind, and focused. Ahsoka hadn’t severed their Training Bond but she’d blocked it, and it had grown weak from disuse. He found the thin strand connecting them and tugged, trying to let her know it was urgent. Focusing on his panic, his frustration, the despair at his situation. He must have sat like that for hours. And nothing. But then a slight tug back. The walls didn’t come down but it was something. He opened his eyes and for the first time in a long time, away from Ahsoka and terrified for Obi-Wan, felt extremely alone. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More weeks passed. Anakin spent all his time with his former Master, whose coughing fits were getting worse. Every now and then they’d produce blood, but Obi-wan assured him it wasn’t as bad as it could be. Anakin wasn’t just worried, he was determined. If he could get a glimpse of the kind of flower petals Obi-Wan was coughing up, it could help him in his search. 

He was up late, feeling his Master sleep through their Bond when his comm pinged. Not a holo message but a text. ‘Meet me at Dex’s. Usual booth. 1800 hours tomorrow.’ He grinned even though no one could see it. He’d get to see Snips again. He wanted to cry with relief. 

Dex’s was busy as usual as Anakin made his way to the booth he and Ahsoka had shared so often. She was already there, a grey cowl over her montrals. She’d grown. Soon she’d be nearly as tall as him. He had no idea what to say to her. 

“Hey, Skyguy,” she said shyly, looking down at the table. 

“Hey, Snips. Thanks for meeting me.” 

“You felt...well, pretty bad off. Do you hate me for leaving?” 

“What? No! I could never hate you for doing what you felt you needed to do. I’ve missed you and it’s hurt, but I’ll always respect you and care for you. Is that why you were hesitant about coming?” 

At that the Togruta wiped a tear away from her blue eyes. 

“Yes. I thought...that you could never forgive me.” 

“Hey, we’re family. And war changes people. Sometimes you have to leave where you were to find out who you are.” 

“But you’re still with the Order?” 

“Only because there’s a situation. I was going to leave. I wanted to help some of the clones resettle into civilian life, make a civilian life for myself. But the situation...it’s why I needed to talk to you. There’s no one else I can talk to.” 

“What about Master Obi-Wan?”

“He’s the situation. Obi-Wan is sick. It’s fatal, actually. The Healers think he has around seven or eight months left.” 

“What?! But, Jedi don’t get sick! Or if they do it’s always been treatable!” 

“I know. But this disease is different. Ever heard of Hanahaki?” 

“Where flowers grow in your lungs? But that’s a myth! Told by ancient Jedi to warn against attachment!” 

“It’s not. It’s real, and he has it. I’ve seen the x-rays. He’s dying, Ahsoka.” 

“But he can’t! He survived the whole kriffing war!” 

“I know. That was my first reaction. He won’t tell me who it is he’s in love with. All I know is that it’s a man. Likely human but that’s not definite. I’m trying to find out who it is. If I know, I can get this guy to spend time with him. The only cure besides a soul destroying surgery is for the love to be returned. And who wouldn’t want Obi-Wan? I can save him, Snips, I know it.” 

“Okay, but what do you need me for?” 

“No one is better at securing intel than you,” Anakin grinned. “I’m not asking you to go back to the Temple. But maybe...meet us for dinner or something. I think he’d at least like to see you before he…” Anakin trailed off, unwilling to finish the sentence.

Ahsoka sighed. “I don’t get it. Why does this only happen sometimes when Jedi fall in love? I love Barriss but we’re not, coughing up flowers to prove our devotion!” 

“You guys got together huh?” Anakin couldn’t help his smirk. 

Ahsoka blushed bronze. “I mean yeah. I think it was almost inevitable. We went from feeling like sisters to seeing war together, then leaving and getting a place together. It just felt...natural.” 

“I’m happy for you both. You two deserve some happiness.” 

“Thanks. But how is dinner going to- you want me to download and slice his personal files, don’t you?” 

“We’re trying to save his life here.” 

“This is so unethical. Fine. Just...get me alone with his comm for a few minutes and I can do the rest.” 

“Thank you, I mean it.” 

“I know. And I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry?” 

“I mean, I know how you feel about him. How frantic you got every time his comm went out or he got captured. Insisted on being the only one to treat him. I know this can’t be easy for you, either.” 

“Snips, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Anakin. You used to talk to Obi-Wan about ‘our padawan’. You cooked for him. And you hate cooking. I’m not saying it’s ya know...the big one for you. But I think you cared for him and seeing him like this...I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. See you for dinner?” 

A long hug and the girl, nearly a woman, was gone. Anakin was left with the check and a spinning head. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dinner was set up for the next week. Both Barriss and Ahsoka came and the restaurant was far from the Temple. Obi-Wan hugged both the former padawans and after a bottle of wine, it wasn’t hard to pretend to confuse Anakin’s own comm with Obi-Wan’s and slip it to Ahsoka under the table. She took only seconds to get what she needed. 

Afterwards they went their separate ways. Barriss and Ahsoka returned to their apartment and Anakin and Obi-Wan returned to theirs in the Temple. 

“I’m glad they found each other,” Obi-Wan was saying. “I miss them both terribly, but they seem much less burdened.” 

“Mm. I think I had a bit too much Corellian wine, Master. I’m going to bed.” 

Hours later, Anakin woke to a sound. It was one he was familiar with. Obi-Wan was choking. Not caring he was only in sleep shorts he rushed to his Master’s room. Obi-Wan was practically half off the bed, trying to get whatever was in his air way out. Anakin helped as much as he could, using the Force to encourage the object out. Finally there was a small blossom, covered in blood on the floor. He cleaned his Master’s face and brought him water and pain pills. He also made sure to snatch the flower before the older man could. He put it in his dresser. At the moment, Obi-Wan needed him more. 

“Do you need to go to the Healers?” 

“No,” he coughed again, taking a moment to recover. “This has been happening more frequently. There’s nothing they can do. It’s alright. Thank you for your help but you can go back to bed.” 

“Like kriff I’m sleeping after that. Scoot over.” 

“What?” 

“We shared beds all the time. It might make us both feel better. Safer. I know it would me.” 

Obi-Wan nodded and scooted over, giving his former padawan ample room. As they listened to each other’s breathing even out, they eventually fell into peaceful sleep together.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Anakin snuck out of bed and took the flower to the ‘fresher. He carefully washed the dried blood off and found a peony. Small, but enough to choke on. But it wasn’t any peony. Deep red, nearly burgundy. Despite its origins it was beautiful. And familiar. As he held the blossom he was taken by a memory. 

His first off-world mission with his Master. They were on Mirial, at a palace which prided itself on its gardens. Anakin had wandered off and was transfixed by the dark red blooms. An elderly man approached him, seeming to approve of his interest. 

“You know, we call these blood flowers. It’s rumored that long ago a brave prince sacrificed everything for his people. Where they buried him, these flowers appeared. As a sign of respect, people would visit them and prick their fingers, dropping blood onto them which the flowers absorbed.” 

“Why would flowers grow over a body? And why blood?” 

The man passed a withered hand over his facial tattoos. 

“The story is about sacrifice. Perhaps it is true and perhaps it isn’t. But the prince loved his people with everything he had, and they loved him back. Good luck and devotion is supposed to be blessed upon those who offer the flowers blood.” 

Anakin didn’t care much for legends, but something pulled him to the flowers. Total selfless devotion. The ultimate sacrifice. He pulled out his vibro knife and pricked his thumb, watching as the flower took in the blood like sunlight. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So there it was. Obi-Wan’s flower. His flower. Loyalty, devotion, mutual sacrifice, hadn’t that always been the basis of their relationship? He heard his comm ping from his room and carefully hid the flower back in its drawer, head spinning. 

Making sure Obi-Wan was still asleep, he answered Ahsoka’s holo. 

“Snips, what’d you find?” 

Her miniature holo image appeared in front of him. 

“Not much. Barriss helped me out with the medical readings and flowers look like peonies. But there are a dozens of different kinds of those. The pain must be more than he’s letting on because he’s getting regular steroid injections at the Healers’. As for our mystery man, no real leads yet. The only male he spends a regular amount of time with is you. And some of the old guys on the Council, but I refuse to entertain any of those options for the sake of my sanity.” 

Anakin shuddered in sympathy. “Agreed.” 

“Master, he doesn’t even keep regular correspondence with anyone from the war. What if...what if it’s you?” 

“What? No way! What kind of sense does that make? I’m his bratty former padawan.” 

From the background he heard Barriss mutter “Men, honestly.” 

That gave Anakin pause. 

“Hey, can you put Barriss on?” 

A moment later a very tired and grumpy looking Mirialan girl was looking at him from the holo. 

“Hey, what do you know about blood peonies?” 

Her eyes widened. “The kind from Mirial?” 

“Yes. Those exactly.” 

“They’re practically sacred. They’re known to take offerings of blood droplets but not from just anyone. The legend is that only those both capable and deserving of great devotion can offer a drop of blood to one. If it’s accepted, it’s believed that a kind of...bond forms between the plant and the person. Not a physical one but well, Mirialan plants have always had a tendency to be more on the sentient side.” 

“Can you describe the bond more?” Anakin’s heart was beating so hard it was a wonder it didn’t wake Obi-Wan up. 

“I mean it’s mostly legend. High ranking nobility were typically the only ones to do it. But if blood was accepted, it meant the flower carried meaning in that person’s life. Often the noble would get a tattoo in the sacred geometry style representing the flower, so they could always call on their sense of purpose and loyalty. Others claimed the flower would grow wherever they stayed.” 

“Or it would show up on someone else’s lungs?” 

He could hear both girls gasp. Ahsoka fought for control of the comm. 

“Anakin. Did you ever offer blood to a flower like that?” 

Anakin sighed. “Once. I was a boy, it was my first off world mission. I thought it was a trick. That it accepted blood from everyone in small quantities because it was carnivorous or something.” 

Barriss wrangled the comm back. 

“Anakin. If you offered to a blood peony it was accepted, and that’s what’s in Master Kenobi’s lungs, it’s incredibly likely that you’re the one he’s in love with.” 

It all made sense. Obi-Wan’s reluctance, his talk of shame, not being able to kick Anakin out but not fully confide in him, either.  
“Do you love him back?” Ahsoka’s voice seemed uncharacteristically fragile. 

“I...I don’t know. He’s been the only constant in my life for so long. And I’ve never really been in love so I don’t know how’d I’d even know and-” 

“Skyguy. Stop. Breathe. Now, let’s play a game.” 

“Have you lost your mind?” 

“No, bear with me. Word association. I used to play it with Rex when one of us was freaked out or needed a sounding board or a distraction. I say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Sadness.” 

“Death.” Obi-Wan’s would be unbearable. 

“Help.” 

“Partner.” 

“Sand.” 

“Kriff.” 

“Safety.” 

“Obi-Wan.” 

“Happy.” 

“Morning.” When he and Obi-Wan cooked together and made each other tea and caf the way the liked it. 

“Sex.” 

“Snips!” 

“We’re both adults. Answer.” 

“Um…” Gods, it had been over a year for him. He hadn’t seriously entertained taking on a lover or even a one night stand, too busy worrying about...and what would it feel like to nuzzle into that beard in the morning? Take their time doing something that definitely wasn’t making breakfast. “Obi-Wan.” 

“Loyalty.” 

“Obi-Wan.” 

“Skyguy, I can’t tell you whether or not you love someone, but most Master and padawan teams wouldn’t answer like that about each other. Look, games aside, when I left with Barriss, I knew that leaving was only the second most important part. The really important part was that it was with her. That’s how I knew I loved her. I know the stakes are higher for you, but if you want to try, you should. Even if it doesn’t work out, you tried.”

“When did you get smarter than me?” 

“Pfft. I always was. You’re just now noticing.” 

“But Skyguy?” Her tone turned serious. 

“Yeah?” 

“Don’t drag your feet. I saw those medical charts. Eight months is highly optimistic.” 

“Kriff.” 

“Hey, don’t panic. You have more information now than you did yesterday. And I don’t care what Master Yoda says. There is value in trying.” 

“Okay, yeah. I just have to try. Thanks, Snips. And Barriss. I’ll let you both get some sleep and do the same.” 

After signing off Anakin slid back into Obi-Wan’s bed. He didn’t sleep a wink, but he did plot the outline of the galaxy’s best plan for falling in love with Obi-Wan.


	4. The One Where They Get It Together Pt 2

Two days later, Anakin woke with a sense of purpose he hadn’t felt since the war. He got out of bed before Obi-Wan and decided on his next steps. He’d spent days thinking about the blood peony and how significant it was to their situation. He was connected to the flower and Obi-Wan was connected to him, which must mean they had the capacity to be devoted to each other. So he’d start there. But he couldn’t start with acts related to the disease. He needed to do things for and with the man to learn who he was, who they could be together after the war. 

So with some help from Padme, he’d managed to get tickets to a museum opening. Not just any museum. The art inside was all a testament to the peace that the future held. And they’d be going incognito. Padme had been giddy at the prospect of getting them formal robes and had sent him a four page document detailing what he should do with his hair. Now all he had to do was ask if Obi-Wan would go with him. And pretend he didn’t know that his former Master was in love with him. Right. Easy. 

Nervous energy in his veins, he set about making breakfast. An old favorite of his from Tatooine. Spiced meat with runny eggs. Usually served with hard bread but he didn’t have time for that. It didn’t hurt that he knew Obi-Wan liked it, too. 

“Are you cooking?” Obi-Wan shuffled in in his sleep pants and shirt and Anakin jumped at the sound of his sleep-heavy voice. 

“I have been known to make edible dishes once in a while. Tea’s on too. Sit.” 

His Master sat, looking a bit confused but happily dug into the meal. 

“I always forget how underrated dishes from Tatooine can be. Thank you, this is delicious.” 

“Well, we did have to make the most out of practically nothing. But I actually have something to ask you.” 

Obi-Wan put his for down and looked at the young man suspiciously. 

“Are you engaging in illegal speeder races?” 

“What?! No! I got tickets to a museum opening tomorrow night. I wanted to know if you wanted to go with me.” He tried to be discrete about wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. 

The auburn haired man raised an eyebrow. “You. Want me. To go to a museum opening with you. You have never in your life expressed an interest in cultural exhibits that didn’t involve fast machines or combat.” 

“This is different! I think we’ll both like it, but I kinda want it to be a surprise so I’m not telling you what museum it is. Padme got us the tickets and formal robes. No one will even recognize us.” 

“So we’re going with Padme?” And there was a definite hint of hurt in the man’s voice that only someone who’d spent years with him would pick up on. 

“Nope. She’s got some gala on Naboo with a bunch of other Senators. I asked her to get the tickets for us and she helped me out. If you don’t have a good time, I promise you can make me meditate while standing on my head for hours.” 

That at least got a huff of laughter out of the older man. 

“I suppose it would be nice to get out of the Temple for an evening. Very well.” 

Anakin knew he was grinning like a lunatic but didn’t care. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next evening Anakin found himself arranging his overly complicated dress robes around his figure. It was a bit frustrating, but looking in the mirror he had to agree that Padme had good taste. The dark blue robe with the high collar and silver accents agreed with his skin tone. The sleeves were purposely a bit short and asymmetrical to show off the ornately carved black bracelets that looked more like gauntlets than jewelry. And he’d finally managed, with a holo call to Padme, to style his hair properly. It had required three products and he hated doing it but it did look...well, nice. Instead of his usual erratic wave and curls that ended in a shaggy cut, his hair was relaxed and slightly slicked back, tied off in a silver ring that left a few inches hanging in a smooth, low ponytail. The black leggings were so tight they practically looked painted on but thankfully the robe covered his ass. And the boots were knee high, also black and looked just short of something that could be worn in combat. He was considering not returning them. 

Okay, deep breath. He was ready, he had the tickets. Padme said he looked great which was high praise from her, and was sure he wouldn’t be recognized like this. Now he just had to make himself walk out to the common room and meet Obi-Wan. He could do this. He’d pulled crazy stunts on back water planets and survived against all odds. He could go somewhere with Obi-Wan in formal wear. 

Steeling himself, he walking in their common room and honestly wasn’t sure if he stopped breathing. Obi-Wan was...fucking sexy was what he was. He was always handsome but this...He looked unfairly gorgeous in black. The form fitting robes were a similar cut to Anakin’s, minus the shortened sleeves. The collar wasn’t as high but it had embroidered silver accents that curled around his neckline. His leggings were grey, and complemented by black boots that were more chic than Anakin’s. His hair was always need but it was parted a bit severely, yet leaving a rogue lock of hair just above one eye. And his eyes. The black brought out how grey and expressive they were. Anakin wasn’t sure how a person fell in love, but he knew that he had absolutely just fallen in lust. 

“You look fantastic,” he blurted out, not even caring at his total lack of tact. 

Obi-Wan seemed to take a moment himself. “You...you look quite stunning yourself. It seems Padme does know how to dress her friends.” 

“Right, um, ready to go? I called for a speeder.” 

“You what? You love piloting in the city.” 

“Yeah, but this ya know...a fancy night out. I figured why not go for broke? Besides, people definitely won’t think ‘Jedi’ if get out of a YT-150.” 

“You called for a luxury speeder. One of the most expensive ones at that. I take it on the Council’s dime?” 

“We outed and killed a Sith. They’ll live. Shall we?” He grinned at Obi-Wan’s exasperated smile and let the way to the hangar.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ride was spent in comfortable silence, with Anakin sneaking glances at his companion fairly often. He was definitely asking Padme if they could keep the robes. Or at least Obi-Wan’s. 

When they arrived and were granted entrance, Obi-Wan inhaled in awe and Anakin smiled at him. 

The walls off the impossibly high ceilings were covered in images of off all mediums, all depicting scenes of hope and happiness after the carnage of war. It would take them a couple of hours to follow the spiral walkway and see everything. A few areas highlighted featured artists, but for the most part it was an exhibit from art from all over the galaxy. Traditional Mon Calamari prints next to Twi’lek paintings that had an almost kinetic style. Holo stills of families being reunited, people rebuilding in cities and villages. Lovers holding fertility symbols, hoping to start families, people sitting in meditation, feeling at peace. It was truly incredible. Anakin felt tears and quickly wiped them away. 

He turned and saw Obi-Wan doing the same. 

“It’s...so impossibly beautiful. All of it. An ode to healing and peace after so much violence,” the older man practically whispered. 

“Yeah, I thought maybe it would be good for us to see. Want to make our way through?” Anakin gestured towards the beginning of the ramp and Obi-Wan nodded. 

They accepted champagne flutes offered by the caterers as they took their time. They stopped in front of a particularly captivating sculpture by a Togruta artist. It depicted several Togruta, some half kneeling and lifting what looked like heavy objects, others depicted as making caring and healing gestures towards ones who appeared ailing. In the center was a perfectly rendered child, a girl with coloring so similar to Ahsoka. She was holding an adult’s hand and lifting a small, sacred flute in the other, smiling just so. A symbol of the future and hope in the middle of those trying to rebuild. Anakin wasn’t sure how long he stared at it. It made him miss Snips so much. He always associated her with hope. Suddenly someone put a hand on his shoulder and it wasn’t Obi-Wan. 

He looked up to see a man only slightly shorter than he was, human, pale skin but sallow and not attractive like Obi-Wan’s. 

“It is a wonderful piece, isn’t it?” The man smiled, and it looked...so insincere. He wanted this man away from as soon as possible. 

“It is. The artist clearly put her heart into it.” 

“I’m Therin Tull, by the way. And you are?” Ugh, that smile and the way the man was in his personal space. Gods, where was Obi-Wan? Why hadn’t he brought his lightsaber? 

“Soka. Though if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my friend.” 

The man refused to take the hint. His black hair looked slimy and he reeked of cologne.

“I know, these functions can be so dull. Yes, yes, we’re all glad to have peace restored to the Republic but it’s not as though we need a museum centered on it. In fact this space should have been bought out by my company. We’d have turned it into one of the most high end hotels in the city.” 

That was it. This creep thought he could throw around the fact that he had money and what? Anakin would just swoon? He felt his anger building up and he was about to say some things to the man that would probably get him kicked out but then Obi-Wan was at his side. 

“Ah, there you are, darling. I apologize, I was distracted by the Rodian pieces just over there. Who’s your new friend?” Obi-Wan linked his arm with Anakin’s in a gesture that was very clear. 

“This is...Cherin, wasn’t it? I was just saying goodbye as I wanted to talk to you about a particular artist’s display. Nice meeting you, Cherin.” 

And with that Anakin walked off with Obi-Wan, arms still linked. 

“Ugh. What a sleemo!” Anakin whispered. “Who just...invades personal space like that. He looked at me like I was a meal, not a person.” 

“It’s certainly deplorable. Though I do recall you being no stranger to romantic attention during the war.” 

Anakin blushed. “Yeah, but that was different. And easier to ignore. I was really caught up in that piece. It reminded me so much of Ahsoka. Even though I comm her now, I still miss her. I’ll always think of her as my sister.” 

“I know. But perhaps in the future you can be closer once again. One never knows.” 

Maybe it was the champagne but Anakin decided to be bold. “I don’t see how I’m the one attracting unwanted attention and not you.” 

The older man startled. “What do you mean?” 

“Um, did you look in the mirror before you stepped out? I’m pretty certain that if you wanted to, you could approach anyone here and go home with them.” 

“Anakin! That is-In no way would I-”

“Relax, Master. I’m not saying you should. I’m just saying you, well, you look really good. Maybe some sleemo hasn’t approached you, but if you pay attention I think you’ll find you’re getting checked out left and right.” 

“I believe that would be you. I am certainly nothing to write home about.” 

Anakin sighed loudly. “Master, your life would be much easier if you just accepted that you’re hot. Come on, I want to see the Kel Dor/Tholothian installation.” 

He missed the stunned look on Obi-Wan’s face as he dragged his partner through the museum. 

Overall it was a fantastic evening. They remained arm in arm to ward off anymore unwanted attention. They were almost through the entire museum when they found themselves in front of a Mirialan piece. It was a mix of bas relief and paints made from sacred pollens. It was beautiful, all complex geometry in a pattern that...rather resembled a peony. One that was crimson at the center. 

Anakin had never been known for having a filter. “A blood peony,” he whispered, getting as close as possible. 

“You know the flower?” Obi-Wan asked, eyes locked on the younger one.

“The first mission we took together off world, on Mirial. I got bored and wandered off. I found one of these in the palace garden and an older man told me they accepted blood offerings in legends, to people who were worthy. He left to care for some other plants and I used my vibro blade and pricked my finger. It just...absorbed it. I thought it was a trick like a blood stone or a carnivorous plant.” 

“It’s believed that anyone whose blood is accepted has a destiny to fulfill. Usually one involving making a great choice. I think you certainly fulfilled yours.” 

Without turning to his companion, Anakin responded quietly. 

“I don’t think it has.” 

“What?” Obi-Wan rarely looked shocked but the expression was clear on his face. 

“I don’t think killing a Sith was the destiny the flower had in mind. I mean Chosen One, no Chosen One, the Force has always balanced itself out eventually. Sometimes it needs a little help, but it knows how to get it.” 

“Then what do you think it is?” 

“I think…” Anakin smiled slowly. “That I’ll tell you when I know for sure.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, back in their rooms and changed out of their formal attire, they sat on the couch together, neither ready to sleep. 

“Thank you for tonight,” Obi-Wan said softly. “I think I very much needed it.” 

Anakin smiled, softly for once, none of his false bravado. “So did I. I’m glad I got to experience it with you. I think you’re the only person who really understands me.” 

“That can’t-” 

“It is. No one has had my back as many times as you. And not just death defying stunts in war or defending me from the Council. But when I felt lost, guilty over casualties, devastated after Ahsoka left...you’re always the one who helps me feel like I can be put back together.” 

“Anakin, I’m so sorry I failed you.” 

What? How did the conversation take this turn?

“What are you talking about?” 

“Palpatine. He was...grooming you for years and I was so wrapped up in being the perfect Jedi that I didn’t even...he could have won. Could have killed you or worse. And it would have been my fault.” 

Anakin could feel the self hatred and sadness radiating off of Obi-Wan so he did what Ahsoka had taught him to do. He hugged the man tightly, pressing his nose to the back of his neck and wrapping his arms around his torso. 

“Obi-Wan. Palpatine was a Sith Lord. No one, not even Yoda, suspected what he was. You were barely a Knight and trying to train a padawan and no one should have asked that of you while you were still grieving. You are the only reason I didn’t end up...like him. Your light and drive to do what’s right, your trust in me, kept me grounded in the Light. Please know that.” 

They stayed like that on the couch for some time. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, so the museum went well. What you’re next plan?” 

Ahsoka’s holo image was projected in his room and Obi-Wan was at a Council meeting. 

“I don’t know! We dressed up, we linked arms the whole night, we talked about...stuff between us that was important. He looked unfairly hot in his formal robes. What should I do?!” 

Ahsoka took a deep breath. “Think about leaving the Order. Tomorrow.” 

“What?!” 

“Don’t do it, genius, just consider it. What would it look like to you?” 

“I-I wouldn’t. Not unless Obi-Wan came with me. And he has the best Healers here. So I wouldn’t.” 

“Okay. Now think about the possibility that Obi-Wan is in love with someone else. Some Mirialan guy who has some link to blood peonies. What if he met that man tonight? His disease went away and he lived happily ever after with someone else.” 

Anakin’s chest ached. Of course he wanted Obi-Wan to be happy, and above all to not die for many, many years. But someone else? Someone else getting those soft smiles and late night conversations and quiet breakfasts? 

“No. I mean, if he was happy and lived, I’d-be happy for him. But I’d have to leave. Go far away.” 

“Third scenario. Imagine if Obi-Wan wasn’t sick. What would your future look like?” 

“I-I don’t know. I think I’ve always assumed he’d be in it. He’s...so much of me revolves around him. When I planned on leaving, before I knew he was sick, I was scared because I was hoping he’d come with me. I said I wanted a family. But he is my family.” 

“Like I am?”

“No. I mean you’re my sister. But he’s like...my past and present and future. Oh...Oh kriff.” 

“Yeah, I thought so.” 

“You knew that I was, I am-?!”

“Skyguy. You always put him first. When anything happens to you, good, bad, boring, he’s the first person you tell. When you need advice, comfort, company, he’s always been your go to. Don’t get me wrong. You and I are a team. But you love him. And not as a brother.” 

“I-I do. Kriff. Snips, what I do now?” 

“You tell him!” Came the chorus from both Ahsoka and Barriss. 

“What if he doesn’t believe me? He thinks he failed me as a Master!” 

Barriss’ image appeared on the holo. 

“Get a blood peony.” 

“What?” 

“Go to Mirial and get one. Bring it back, potted and alive. Put it in front of him and offer it a drop of your blood. But this time make it specific. I did some research. Thousands of years ago, words of loyalty were spoken during the blood giving. Make your intent known. The flower will only accept it if it’s true.” 

“What? Then why did it accept it when I was 10?”

“You were a child, but one with great purpose and sense of loyalty to your Master. Now you know the purpose of your connection with peony. Otherwise Master Kenobi wouldn’t be coughing them up.” 

“Okay. Go get a sentient flower and bring it back to prove it will accept my blood. Because of course I can’t fall in love like a normal person.” 

“Skyguy, go do it. You got this.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anakin had his ship prepped but going off for some grand romantic gesture didn’t feel like Obi-Wan’s style. He was still going to do it, but first he was going to the sane thing that Barriss and Ahsoka had suggested and tell the man how he felt. 

Obi-Wan was due back from an O2 treatment soon and Anakin was pacing. He didn’t know what words would work best or how to do this. He just...had to before he took off to Mirial to get a sentient flower of all things. After what felt like hours but was less than twenty minutes, the door opened. 

“Anakin, what has you so agitated?” 

“I, I need to tell you something. It might be easier if you sit down.” 

Obi-Wan sat on the couch but looked on edge. 

“This isn’t easy for me to say. I’ve never done this before. I never really understood this before.” He was still pacing. “But I don’t know how you’re supposed to say this to someone. I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

Obi-Wan went completely still on the couch. “Excuse me?” 

“I-I’m an idiot. I mean you know that. I think I just didn’t realize what love was and then I started thinking about what you mean to me and the way I look at you sometimes and- I like that you clean even with the apartment is already clean. I like that you make snarky jokes to Council members and spend extra time with younglings who need someone. I love how you straighten your robes even though they’re never wrinkled and how kriffing amazing you are at verbal debates. You make trade negotiations feel like a war zone where you’re a sniper. I don’t like how completely unaware you are that you’re attractive but I love how you always try and find a reason that someone is deserving of compassion. So yeah. I love you.” 

Obi-Wan sighed and covered his face in his hands. Not the ideal reaction Anakin was hoping for. 

Finally he raised his head and spoke. 

“Anakin. I understand that you are upset that I am sick, but that is not a reason to try and make yourself believe that you are in love with me. You deserve someone your own age, who can give you children and the family you want and-” 

“Obi-Wan. No. This isn’t misguided pity. I used to be a slave and you never pitied me. So I don’t pity you for this. I know that you may be in love with someone else. But I am really hoping it’s me. When I think of things like safety, the future, family, peace...I can’t imagine any of them without you. If it’s not me, I’d be happy for you if the man you love showed up to swoop you away. But I’d be devastated. Honestly, I’d have to go move in with Ahsoka and Barriss and be their permanently depressed third wheel. I know you don’t believe that I love you, but I can prove it. I’m going to Mirial to get a blood peony. I’ll bring it back and offer it my blood again, but this time I’ll tell it that my love and greatest loyalty lie with you. Then you’ll have to believe me.” 

The older man stood and Anakin held his breath. 

“That’s your plan? To steal a sacred flower to prove that you love me?” 

“Yes! I mean, the original plan was just to tell you how I feel but you don’t seem inclined to believe me about these things.” 

“And you mean it? Not because I’m ill, but because it’s true?” 

How was such a smart man so dense?! “Yes! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for-mmph!” 

Anakin found himself being kissed, and once his brain caught up with what was happening, he was very much on board, kissing back with enthusiasm. It wasn’t perfect, both of them feeling rushed and frantic and hoping against all odds but it was still the best Anakin had ever had. He pulled back, resting his forehead against Obi-Wan’s, unsure of what to say. So he reached through the Force and found their Bond, still unsevered but weak with how they’d both been blocking it for months. He pulled up every scrap of devotion and admiration and love he felt with filled the Bond with it. It felt like oxygen returning to a lung and Obi-Wan gasped against him. The shorter man pulled back a few centimeters to look into his partner’s eyes. Gently, he ran a calloused thumb over a high cheek bone, bringing it down near his lips. 

“I never thought you would. Or that you could, given the nature of the disease.” 

“You’re always on me about not following rules. Why stop now?” The corner of Anakin’s mouth quirked and he wiped a tear from the corner of his (Master-best friend-love’s?) eye. “Besides, I’m kind of amazed you love me, too. But frankly we’ve spent too much time talking about why we didn’t think this could happen. I just want to be here with you and be happy it has.” 

Anakin initiated the kiss this time. Slow and gentle, just a press of lips together, moving slightly against one another. Kissing Obi-Wan was officially one of his top three favorite activities. And oh, Obi-Wan pressed harder and nipped at Anakin’s lower lip. Then there was a slick tongue pressing gently and he opened the kiss without thinking, moaning at the hot slide of the tongue against his own, pushing into his mouth. He could taste tea and something that might just be Obi-Wan. He groaned again and put his hand against the back of the older man’s head, fingers playing with short auburn strands. The gesture was returned and slight tugging on his hair...stars. 

“Obi-Wan,” he panted, kissing the man again, intent on exploring his mouth and completely focused on the warm sensations flowing around them. Then it felt like his Master’s hands where everywhere. Shoulder blades, hips, fingertips playing at the ‘V’ where his robes crossed at the hollow of his throat, slipping just under the edges and feeling the skin there. Gods the man could tease. 

“Anakin. I want you to come to bed with me.” He’d always appreciated that voice but kriff. Hearing that request had him half hard. “We don’t have to do anything. I just...I want to be close to you.” 

Anakin nodded and took the man’s hand for the short walk to the bedroom. He understood the need to share physical space right now even if it wasn’t about sex. They’d both been through so much. They needed time to know they were together and safe. 

They pulled off their boots and outer robes, leaving them in under shirts and leggings. Once on the bed, heartbeat elevated, Obi-Wan pulled him against his chest, arm secure around his torso, and Anakin interlaced their fingers. He could feel Obi-Wan’s warm breath against the back of his neck as his nose was pressed into his hair, feel a hardness against his lower back that was so tempting to push back into, but not right this second. 

“It hurts less already, I can feel it in my chest,” The older Jedi spoke softly. Anakin squeezed his hand. 

“Good. ‘Cause I don’t intend to lose you now that I have you.” 

“Neither do I. And I imagine the Council will be displeased to hear we’re not ever severing our Bond now.” 

Anakin was pleasantly shocked by the possessiveness and snark in the sentiment.

“Really? You mean that?” 

“Of course I mean it. I...don’t ever want to not feel you like that in the Force again. I want our Bond to grow stronger than it ever was. Not to be dramatic, but when you showed me...it felt like warmth after a dark winter. My own Signature in the Force was weakening with the disease. It feels so much stronger now.” 

Anakin turned so they were face to face, grinning from ear to ear. “Remember when I said I’d tell you what my duty was when I was sure? I’m pretty sure it’s this. You. Us.” 

Obi-Wan frowned a bit. “Two people can’t possibly be enough to warrant a destiny-” 

“No, listen. We’re two opposite forces acting on each other. I didn’t Fall because of you. We both know I have that spark of Darkness in me. You saved me and helped me save the Republic. Because you loved me. You said that Hanahaki is linked to the Force. Maybe it’s Dark, maybe it’s not. But the kind of compassion and Light you taught me let me save you, and both of us, again. We need each other. We balance each other. At least when we actually communicate like adults.” 

His partner was silent for a few moments before he spoke again. 

“I love you so much, dear one. I am so grateful to have that love returned.” 

“I love you, too. Later I’ll talk about what an idiot I was for not realizing it and making you suffer and you’ll say it wasn’t my fault but for right now I just want to kiss you.” 

“Yes, I think that’s the best course of action.” 

Anakin was wrong. Kissing Obi-Wan was his top favorite activity, hands down. Especially without their bulky outer robes and so close on the bed. The Jedi Master seemed to love running his hands through Anakin’s hair which was absolutely fine by Anakin. He pressed his hand against the thin tunic over Obi-Wan’s heartbeat, rubbing his palm against the warmth of the skin just beneath it. In response, Obi-Wan threw one of his legs over Anakin’s, groaning when his hard cock rubbed against the younger man’s stomach. Then the soft mouth surrounded by beard left his and was at his neck, pressing light but wet, slightly sucking kisses. 

“Oh kriff, Obi-Wan,” he groaned. “If you keep doing that we’re definitely not just going to be ‘sharing physical closeness’ for long.” 

“Hm. I think I’m alright with that if you are.” The older pulled back to wait for an answer. 

“So alright with it,” Anakin panted, trying to sit up somewhat awkwardly so he could remove his tunic. Obi-Wan laughed warmly but helped him, sending the garment to the floor. 

“No need to rush, love.” 

“I like it when you call me that.”

said Anakin shyly.

“Then I will do so often.” 

Anakin was distracted by the warm, calloused hands on his chest, stroking through the sparse hairs. Then that talented mouth was at his collarbone, more aggressive this time. Then the juncture of his neck and shoulder and oh- “Kriff!” 

“Mm, like that?” 

“Stars, yes. Harder, please.” 

Wordlessly Obi-Wan obliged, sucking harshly. It would almost certainly leave a mark and oh, actually was a nice thought too. Anakin found himself being pushed back on the bed as Obi-Wan explored his neck and behind his ear. Then one of his hands was stroking Anakin’s chest again and Anakin bucked his hips when a blunt nail raked over his nipple. “Oh, that, yes,” he groaned as the motion was repeated. “Fuck, I never even thought about if that would feel good.” 

Obi-Wan pulled back to look at him. “Anakin, have you had sex before?” He didn’t look upset or judgemental at least. 

“Yes. Once with another Padawan and once during the war. But it wasn’t-It honestly kind of felt like just a biological thing. Quick and dirty. I know everyone assumes I take lovers on every planet I’ve been to but it felt so..impersonal, just two beings using each other, that I never had much interest.” 

“If you want to wait to do anything else I will. If you never want to do anything else besides lying next to each other that’s also fine. I would never push you.” 

“No, I know that. And I do have a sex drive. But I want this because it’s you. I’m not just a body or the Chosen One to you. And I definitely want you because I love who you are.” 

Obi-Wan smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to Anakin’s lips. 

“Then I want to go very slowly and make sure you feel taken care of.” 

“Mmm. I like the sound of that. I want to take care of you, too. I want to start by getting rid of this.” He tugged at the older man’s tunic and in short order it joined his on the floor. Sitting up he turned his attention to Obi-Wan’s neck, loving the smell of skin, the clean scent of the soap he preferred. He nipped and sucked, bit gently on the outer shell of his ear which got a very nice response. And pressed chest to chest while sitting on the bed, gods it was nice. He dipped his tongue into the hollow of Obi-Wan’s throat, sucking and biting on the collar bones as he’d enjoyed just minutes ago. He found himself being guided back against the headboard and got a glimpse of his partner’s normally grey-blue eyes, darkened with lust before he bit at one of Anakin’s nipples, forcing him to cry out. Fuck, that tongue on his chest, periodically sucking and biting was bliss. He gently raked his nails down Obi-Wan’s back. When Obi-Wan lifted his head to purr “Harder.” In his ear he wondered if he could come from the man’s dirty words alone. 

Their hands were everywhere, scraping and touching. Anakin flipped them so that Obi-Wan was underneath him, needing to taste his chest. He moved lower, licking at the flat stomach as hands fisted in his hair. He moved lower still, nosing at his partner’s clothed erection, loving the thick scent of arousal. 

“Oh! Anakin, I know I said I wanted to go slow, but if you keep doing that, I don’t know how slow we’ll be going.” 

Anakin met his eyes and smiled. “We have time. So much of it. No more war, no more illness. We have time to spend. Whole nights taking it slow if we want. And I can’t seem to help myself. You’re so kriffing perfect.” He ran a tanned hand up Obi-Wan’s chest to illustrate the point. 

“No, I’m hardly-” 

“No. You know why I love you and you felt how much through the Force. But you, are sexy. I have never been this turned on in my life. I haven’t even come and this is already the best sex I’ve ever had. And not just because I love you touching me. After the museum I couldn’t help myself from thinking about how badly I wanted to be the one to take those robes off you. Even when you’re in your plain robes I think about how good I know your ass looks under them. How I love your skin tone, the way your hair is never quite red or brown. God, your cheekbones and that nose...you look like you could be in a portrait on a wall on some noble house. Maybe you don’t see yourself as desirable but at least trust that I do.” 

Anakin didn’t need to see his lover’s face as he could feel the flare of shock in their Bond. Shock that quickly turned to desire. 

“Very well. I can at least trust you. And know that I find you...frankly I was ashamed that I couldn’t keep thoughts about my former Padawan out of my head. After the first few months of the war I stopped trying. Physical attraction has never weighed much on my mind but thinking of you, how you move in battle, the way you look covered in engine grease trying to fix a problem, how I always secretly loved being pressed up against you in some fox hole for reasons I shouldn’t have. And your mouth. It always looks like it needs to be kissed. You’re beautiful.” 

“I’ll have to trust you on that, too. Now come here.” And he surged up the bed to kiss his partner fully. With only their leggings between them their cocks ground together and they both groaned at the sensation. “I very much want us to be naked right now.” They were both straining, grinding together. 

“Excellent plan.” Obi-Wan pulled back, which elicited a whine from his younger lover. He stood and removed his leggings as Anakin hitched his own hips up on the bed and did the same. Then Anakin had the privilege of watching a fully naked Obi-Wan walk towards the bed. The man was gorgeous. Muscled and lithe at the same time. Even his battle scars looked like they were there to be licked. 

“Oh. Master.” His mouth was dry as Obi-Wan climbed back on the bed and pulled him into his arms. 

“I know, love. It’s how I feel seeing you like this as well.” 

“That is incredible. That we can be together like this. But…” he trailed off, a bit nervous. 

“What is it, love?” 

Anakin trailed a hand slowly down Obi-Wan’s bare thigh. Blushing, he turned his face into his partner’s neck. “I’ve never-I didn’t expect to be so turned on by your cock.” Obi-Wan shivered at the admission. “Fuck, you’re so big.” 

“I uh-suppose I wouldn't know.” 

“You’ve never been with a man?” 

“Not beyond kissing and one or two very brief encounters where it was dark or clothes were kept on.” 

He moved his hand closer to Obi-Wan’s sex and grazed his fingers against it. “I know we don’t have to rush into anything. But I- I want you inside me.” 

Before he could think they were kissing again and Obi-Wan was pushing him onto his back, then straddling his hips and oh, that felt so good. Anakin took them both in hand, making slow, light strokes up and down their shafts. 

“Kriffing hells, Anakin. Are you sure?” 

“So sure. Please, I need it. Need you.” 

“Gods, yes I need you, too.” A thought occurred. “Kriff. I don’t have any lubricant.” 

“I do.” Anakin threw out a hand and summoned the bottle from across the apartment, from underneath his bed where he kept it. 

Before he could give it to Obi-Wan the man was halfway down his body, face very close to his cock. 

“Need to taste you first. Been wanting to do this for so long.” And he licked a stripe up Anakin’s shaft, swirling his tongue around the head. Once he got saliva going he took as much as he could, loving the feel of the thick weight against his tongue and the back of his throat. 

Anakin was groaning and had his head thrown back, saying things like ‘please’, ‘yes’, and ‘more’. 

Obi-Wan stopped to get the bottle. “I could make you come like this first if you want. Your cock in my mouth and my fingers playing with your ass, touching that little spot inside you.” 

The filthy things coming from his former Master’s mouth made his cock twitch. And gods, if that didn’t make an image in his head. 

“Love it when you say things like that. But the first time I come with you, I want you to be inside me.” 

“Alright, love. It might hurt a bit more if you’re not relaxed and stretched first.” 

Anakin held Obi-Wan’s face. “I know. I want it to. I’ve only been with man once but I have um, toys. I like to use the bigger ones, feel that stretch before I’m totally ready. Usually I like just two fingers to stretch myself out and then…” He trailed off, embarrassed. 

“Oh, love. Thinking about you pleasuring yourself like that, fucking yourself on a toy, is the second most erotic thing I’ve ever experience. The first is having you here, in my bed, asking me to have you. And I did say I’d take care of you. If that’s what you know you like, of course I’ll do that.” 

Another kiss and he moved down Anakin’s body, spreading his legs and encouraging his knees up and feet flat on the bed. Seeing the most intimate part of the man he loved was...heady. He thoroughly coated two of his fingers and inserted one slowly, fucking him gently a couple of times before adding a second. Anakin’s moans increased as he scissored his fingers, trying to loosen him up as much as possible. Then he found that little gland and Anakin cried out, hips jerking erratically. Oh, his love was so responsive. Perhaps not this time, but soon, he’d take his time, draw out Anakin’s pleasure until they were both ready to beg for it. But for now his lover wanted his cock, and he certainly wouldn’t deny either of them that.

“Please, please, Obi-Wan. I need you now, Master.” 

He’d contemplate how he felt about Anakin calling him Master during sex later. Right now he very much wanted to be physically joined with the man who was begging or him. He liberally coated his cock and lined himself up at the entrance. Anakin was on his back, eyes squeezed shut and breathing hard. 

“Anakin, look at me.” Blue eyes opened and met Obi-Wan’s own. “Good. Now connect to our Bond. I want us both to feel this in the Force.” Neither had done such a thing. It was forbidden. The worst violation of the rule against attachment. But his future wasn’t the Order, it was Anakin. The man who’d literally saved his life by loving him back. And it felt so right to be together in Force like this, after everything they’d been through. 

Once they were connected they both gasped. It felt more than right. It felt like a how they were always supposed to exist but no one had ever bothered to tell them. No longer needing words, Obi-Wan pushed in gently, feeling how impossibly tight his partner was, his pleasure and pain at the sensation floating between them in the Force. And gods, Anakin felt amazing. Pure heat and wet from the lube and how he was looking up at him with awe. Though Obi-Wan imagined he wore a similar expression. When he bottomed out Anakin sobbed and Obi-Wan kissed and licked his neck, whispered how perfect he was, how right it was for them to be like this. 

Once he’d adjusted to his lover, Anakin kissed him. “You feel so perfect. The way you fill me up, stretch me out so good. Please, move.” 

And he might never be able to tell Anakin ‘no’ to anything again after hearing that. He started with shallow thrusts, not wanting to cause pain that Anakin didn’t want. Nothing else mattered except the slide of their bodies and their connection in the Force. He didn’t know how long he’d last, fucking into the tight heat, seeing Anakin lost in their ecstasy. 

“Harder, please,” The younger man begged, wrapping a hand around his own cock. Kriff, that was a sight. He snapped his hips more forcefully and felt Anakin’s legs wrap around him, taking him in just that bit deeper. “Obi-Wan!” He could tell through their Bond that he was brushing the prostate now. “Oh, Force, it’s so good. I knew it would be good with you but it's amazing. I love how you feel inside me, so big, giving me what I need. Not gonna last much longer.” 

Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin’s legs for better leverage and thrust even harder. “I won’t either, love. I want to watch you come for me. You’re so gorgeous, stroking your own cock for me, taking me inside you. I love you. With everything I am. Please come for me, sweetheart.” 

A few more strokes of Anakin’s hand and he did come, coating both their abdomens with it. And to feel it, not just in the way Anakin’s impossible passage tightened further but in the Force as a beautiful display of light that wasn’t seen but felt, it pushed Obi-Wan over as well. He knew Anakin could feel second hand the pleasure he took in spilling deep inside him. 

When both of them got their bearings, they shared a kiss and Obi-Wan slowly slid out, making his partner whimper. 

They lay together afterwards, not caring about being sticky or the wet spot on the sheets at the moment. After long moments Anakin spoke first. 

“That was-I didn’t know anything could ever be like that. I could feel all your love and lust mixing with mine. Even before we opened the Bond like that, that was incredible. No one’s ever touched me like I mattered. I love you, too, you know. You’re it for me.” 

Obi-Wan kissed him. “Good. Jedi training or not, I’m not sharing.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, Anakin went with his lover, and god he loved being able to say that about Obi-Wan even if just to himself for now, to his next appointment with the Healers. Bant was on duty which was good. She was an old friend of Obi-Wan’s and might be more understanding of what they hoped the medidroid scans would show. 

She greeted them though seemed a bit surprised that Obi-Wan insisted Anakin stay in the room. Obi-Wan stood on position for the hovering droid to get an x-ray of his chest with only a thin, lead lined pad covering his torso. Anakin was practically radiating nervous energy. What if it wasn’t gone? What if there was a point where you couldn’t stop it like some less mystical progressive diseases? What if now he’d have to watch the man he loved die and he didn’t think there would be any coming back from that-

“What the-” Bant muttered, inspecting the droid that was relaying the image to her datapad. 

“What is it?” Obi-Wan asked, and Anakin could feel his hope. 

“One moment. I want to use another droid to be sure.” 

Another droid buzzed in and the Healer repeated the process with her patient. 

“No, the images are correct. Obi-Wan, this shouldn’t be possible, but the disease has regressed. Drastically. It’s not totally gone, there are a few petals here and there, but that’s it. No stems, no full blooms. I can’t believe it.” But she smiled and hugged her friend, not caring he was still wearing the lead covering. “I don’t understand! I mean, this is a disease that shouldn’t physically exist in the first place, but how?” 

“We found the cure,” Anakin grinned from the corner of the room. 

“But there is no cure, aside from drastic surgery and I know you flatly rejected that option.” 

Obi-Wan spoke next, smiling widely at his friend. “You researched the disease, Bant. You know it’s cause it intense and unrequited love.” 

“Obi-Wan, I’m a scientist and a Healer. I can’t take myths into account when I treat my patients.” 

“But it’s not a myth. Flowers were in my chest. I was coughing them up in front of you on several occasions. And we know the illness may be connected to the Force, which I also now believe to be true.” 

“So you developed a Force technique to combat it?” 

Obi-Wan blushed as he pulled the lead covering off and his tunic back on. 

“Perhaps in a sense. But I was fortunate enough to have the man I loved return my sentiments.”

Bant looked startled, even for being a member of a species with large eyes. “The man-” She turned her attention to Anakin who was still grinning like a maniac. Her shock had worn off and she clearly didn’t need help to put the rest of the puzzle together.

“Well I suppose I don’t need to ask you about the bruising your chest then. Which I initially thought might be a symptom of the disease progressing. But you feel better?” 

“Yes, I’ve been engaging in...vigorous exercise for the past two days with no breathing problems.” Anakin couldn’t repress his snort as they smiled at each other. In fact once Bant logged her report and sent it to the Council, they’d return to those activities until they were inevitably summoned by said Council. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon, lying curled together on the couch, they waited for the summons. And more importantly discussed what they’d tell the Council and what they would do now, that they had a Bond they refused to ever sever and would not allow themselves to be separated by the Council. Of course life might require that they spend a few days or weeks apart, but it wouldn’t be because of the Council. 

They’d spoken with Ahsoka and Barriss since their first...physical experience together. Obi-Wan found it amusing that Anakin couldn’t say ‘sex’ in front of his former Padawan. He insisted that was like talking about sex with his little sister. But the two women had been of great help, once again. (Anakin had told his partner about everything Ahsoka and Barriss did to try and help them see reason and Obi-Wan had expressed his sincere gratitude.) But the former padawans had been trying to come to terms with a world not at war and their place in it as well. After discussing it at great length, they’d all come to a plan of sorts. 

Anakin was stroking Obi-Wan’s hair absently, and because he loved that he could, thinking about how this might go over like a rancor in a pottery store, but not caring. 

A chime sounded at the door and Obi-Wan answered, thanking the droid for delivering the summons. 

“So it’s time?” Anakin asked coolly. 

“Yes.” A quick kiss. 

They walked to the Council holding hands and not caring about the stares they received. Let the rest of the Temple see that love could be part of a Jedi’s life. There was plenty of murmuring. Everyone knew Obi-Wan had been seriously ill and had made a miraculous recovery. And that they’d spent the past couple days holed up in their room, requesting food from service droids occasionally but not training or teaching or any of the other duties required of Jedi not on missions. 

They entered the Council chamber with their fingers still laced together, even as they bowed to the Council. 

“Masters,” Obi-Wan nodded, then let the Council open the discussion and set the tone. It was a tactic he often used in negotiations to get an early read on the room. 

Master Windu cleared his throat and began. “Master Kenobi, Knight Skywalker. We’ve received information from the Healers that you’ve made a recovery from a disease not thought curable.” 

“Master Windu, it isn’t that the disease was thought always fatal, but that finding the cure is unlikely by the very nature of the illness.” 

“Healer Eerin wrote that the...symptoms regressed astonishingly quickly. And that the reason is attachment.” 

“Love,” Obi-Wan corrected. “Love is not attachment. And yes, that is the cure.” 

Master Windu stood, his frown deepening. “I am saddened to see a once great Jedi gripped by his own attachment.” 

“And you’d prefer that he’d died?” Anakin asked angrily. 

Mace looked ready to grab his ‘saber but Yoda interrupted. 

“Knight Skywalker wrong is not. To have saved the life of a gifted Master and good soul, an excellent thing it is. The questions we have, serious are. Of Hanahaki, very little understood there is. Seen it I have only one other time in my long years. Tragic, it was. A young Knight, so bright and compassionate, victim to it fell. Much, she suffered and for a year, nearly. Passed into the Force, she did. In her Healing room, she passed, alone.” Yoda was off his hover chair now and pacing slowly. Obi-Wan was reminded that the ancient Master had seen more suffering and loss than anyone the room, possibly the galaxy. Yoda continued. “No death there is, but only the Force. What we believe, that is. But this disease, teaches us a different lesson it does. Pitting suffering and loneliness against love and happiness, it reminds us. Some interpretations, to not all situations do they apply. And some interpretations, wrong they may be. Ravaged the Order, the war did. Stones in rivers, changed they are by the currents. And so changed will be the Order by its actions in war.” 

Master Windu looked shocked. “Master Yoda, what are you saying? That we allow Jedi attachments? Standing by our Code got us through the war!” 

“No,” Obi-Wan said forcefully. “That is not what got us through the war. How many have left since it’s end? Between those lost in battle and those who have left, our numbers have been devastated. No one wants to hand over a child to the Order thinking they might as well be handing them off to a militia. And the Code is what almost caused what could have been a very great loss. My own Padawan had been groomed by Sidious from the age of fourteen and no one knew! No one thought to question why an old Senator was asking to spend time with a young Padawan. What if he had done something physically heinous to Anakin?! I failed him in that! This entire Order failed the Chosen One.” His voice was rising but he didn’t care. 

“Obi-Wan is right,” Anakin said, squeezing his partner’s hand. “He shouldn’t have been saddled with a Padawan right after losing Qui-Gon. It was the perfect combination for Sidious to get close to me. To put ideas in my head. Sometimes verbally and sometimes with Force Suggestion. He was so good at it that I didn’t even notice it. I think it was a Dark Side technique but..no one knew. I could feel the Darkness growing in me. Its call got stronger. By the last months of the war I was a wreck. Then we found him out and he asked me to join him. And I almost did. The pull was strong then, all I could feel was rage and sadness and resentment towards the Republic. The only reason I didn’t fall was because Obi-Wan mattered so much to me. I knew, deep down, if I ever wanted to be worthy of him in any way, I had to stay strong. So I did.” 

Mace sat down hard and put his face in his hands, taking a moment to think. 

Aayla spoke up. “I agree, that the Order must change. People are glad we won the war but now they also see us as soldiers. And why not? That’s what we were. They think of us as intimidating Spartan warriors, cunning assassins, not protectors or keepers of balance. We did terrible things in the war as individuals and collectively. We didn’t just cut down droids, we cut down sentients, created blockades that we knew would force people into starvation. This Order, if it is to continue, needs serious changes. Master Yoda is right. Even stones change their shape. But we don’t have the benefit of thousands of years to make those changes. I vote that Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker keep their bond. And that any others who don’t want to cut theirs not be forced to do so. And I don’t just mean Training Bonds. We condition our crechelings to avoid forming Force connections with each other. No more. We must embrace the gifts of the Force and we will have to if want to help each other heal from this war.” 

Master Plo stood as well. “I agree. We have lost so much. We are already unbalanced. Let our compassion for each other, and not just the galaxy in general, guide us back to balance.” 

Similar sentiments were echoed. A few dissented but in the end it was voted that no one would interfere with Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship and they wouldn’t have to hide it. Then it was decided that more sessions would be had immediately about how to change the Order. Anakin and Obi-Wan silently made their way back to their room, smiling, and still holding hands. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Months passed. Anakin was packing up their ship with the last of their supplies. He couldn’t wait to get settled on Naboo. The past months had been Council meeting after Council meeting. Though he supposed it was worth it. The changes and new Code made Temple life infinitely better. More Jedi entered romantic partnerships, both with each other and others. It turned out part of Aayla’s passionate defense may have been the fact that she and Bly had been together for months. While caution was taught about attachments and the greed and fear they could inspire, there were also lectures on selfless love and the importance of recognizing that the Force connects all. Hoarding Force Sensitives had stopped and families could let their children come for lessons or stay on on their own terms. 

Now, he, Obi-Wan, Barriss and Ahsoka were going to Naboo to start the first satellite training center. It wouldn’t be only for Force Sensitives, of course. Many clones were coming as well and Padme had made sure that programs for both mental health and workforce options were being put in place for them. The center was far from Theed, in a town that needed an economic boost. So they had their work cut out for them. Padme was hinting in a way that could not be called subtle that he and Obi-Wan should get married. She mentioned the Varykino palace would be a lovely venue, and a great publicity move for the Order. Anakin balked at the idea of getting married in front of holocameras. So she’d moved on to the topic about how adoption on Naboo was easier if a marriage license had been obtained. 

Ahsoka and Barriss had been Knighted though neither seemed to particularly care about the title. Anakin found his own new status as Master to be anticlimactic. But his friends were happy and that was what mattered. Ahsoka had approached Anakin about how to form the kind of Force Bond he and Obi-Wan had and Anakin had turned red, sputtered awkwardly, and then Obi-Wan had stepped in and said in plain terms that was about merging Signatures during intercourse. To which Ahsoka had said ‘that makes sense’, and happily walked off. 

Anakin looked around their room one last time. Not like they had a lot of possessions but it did hold certain memories. Obi-Wan walked in and embraced him from behind, just able to see a small part of the tattoo peeking out from underneath Anakin’s tunic. He’d spent many hours admiring it, touching it, tracing it with his tongue. Barriss and Anakin had designed it together. It was a blood peony, done in a geometric style but not the one sacred to Mirialans. Some of the petals were soft and natural, some rendered in lines meant to represent the mathematical formulations behind nature. The stem was done in black, as were the leaves, which looked more severe than the actual plant. The petals folded over each other, lighter reds at the outsides and a deep crimson in the center. Anakin had done it partly because of the Order no longer forbade tattoos that weren’t culturally sacred to a person’s homeworld, and mostly because he wanted the symbol forever in living skin, like soil. A thank you to the flower for guiding him to Obi-Wan and a symbol to always pay attention to the man he loved, that he’d try and protect him from all future pain. 

“We should get going. The girls are already on the ship.” 

“Yeah, okay, let’s go start a new life together.” 

They shared a brief kiss. 

“I’m piloting,” Obi-Wan said in his ‘serious’ tone.

“No way. It’ll take us years to get there.” 

“As opposed to getting there in multiple pieces?” 

They walked towards the hangar, holding hands even as they teased each other. Anakin hoped they’d never stop doing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story really got away from me. I have that problem as a writer. But I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> I really like when Ahsoka has to hold Anakin's hand and walk him through his own feelings. Though of course she has a partner just as dramatic. Barriss 'steal a ship and then steal a flower!' idea was next level drama. I imagine when they all live together on Naboo Anakin and Barriss will listen to angsty music together talk about the upside of all-black wardrobes. 
> 
> I also wanted to include the tattoo because, hell, I love tattoos, have a ton, and love tattoo fics. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this, I'd be honored if you could take a minute to write a comment, even if it's a short one. Thank you XOXO


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